Friday, August 11, 2006

#3 In My Series of “Incredibly Bad Poetry by Celebrities or Fictional Characters”



My Lumps

By Hillary Clinton’s Bust

Gaze upon mine curiously smooth breasts
And wonder, aloud if need be
What the hell my Creator was thinking
When he chipped and hammered and
Banged me to life
With chisel, with big, gnarly hands

stony silence

Dear God, do you not hear me scream? Listen!
Marble heart breaking, tears of pebble plonking
Down my unnaturally aged face
I am a rock
I am an island
I enjoy Simon and Garfunkel

rocky mountains sigh

Lo! The horrors of my existence
As I waste upon this pedestal, eyes wide
And endure the gawks of guffawing Republicans
The leering sneer of Pat Robertson
Wake me from this nightmare, Bill
I have stopped thinking about tomorrow

10 Comments:

At 7:48 AM, Blogger Myfanwy Collins said...

Oh how I adore you, Ms. Lori!

 
At 10:22 AM, Blogger keef said...

my god, that's terrifying.

 
At 10:48 AM, Blogger Jordan E. Rosenfeld said...

You KILL me! I love this. Love love.

J

 
At 11:43 AM, Blogger Alice said...

"Dear God, do you not hear me scream? Listen!
Marble heart breaking, tears of pebble plonking
Down my unnaturally aged face
I am a rock
I am an island
I enjoy Simon and Garfunkel"

- You know, those just might be the weirdest, most brilliant and most profound words I have ever heard.

Hope you enjoy your weekend, Lor.

Have one on me.

;-)

xxx

 
At 12:02 AM, Anonymous Jeni said...

Lori, I say this with nothin' but love, you are a nut!

 
At 12:09 PM, Anonymous G-Man said...

When can we expect a full blow up doll of Hill with all the necessary "equipment" if ya know what I mean?

 
At 10:34 AM, Anonymous Anne said...

Plus - Where are the nipples???

 
At 2:21 AM, Blogger e-blackadder said...

Lol, you effing rule. :)

 
At 11:03 AM, Blogger Alexis said...

You are hilarious - but more importantly - where the hell are you??? x

 
At 9:42 AM, Blogger Ms. Lori said...

Thanks, everyone, for your love.

I need your love.

I crave your love.

Especially now.

If you've read my latest post, you'll understand why...

Love to all. Hope to see you soon.

***wipes tear, runs from room***

 

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