Yeah, I Got Your Kutcher Right HERE!
Quick post today -- office is still hotter than Satan’s ballsack, so I’ll keep this short and sweet before I get to the point where my hair melts and my frontal lobe liquefies, and my mouth turns down into a hideous, permanent grimace, etc., etc...I dreamt last night that I was meeting some friends at a local bar, and while entering the establishment, I was startled by a large, perfectly manicured hand that had appeared out of nowhere and clasped onto my own as I pushed the door handle. I spun around and found myself staring into the eyes of none other than Ashton Kutcher, famed paramour-now-husband of Demi Moore.
Coochie-coochie coo!
My first thought was, “Heavens to Betsy! Isn’t he a lovely young man!” and my second, immediately after he pulled me into his arms and slung me over his shoulder was, “Not my type, but lordylordGOD, please don’t let the kids wake me now.”
Ashton and I moved through the crowd, me cradled against his chest as he whispered sweet nothings in my ear (“Your pasta sauce makes my tongue tremble,” and “Gosh, your potato salad totally rocks”), and I was so overcome with lust, I began sucking on his chin, much to the delight of onlookers. Now, I don’t quite get why I would suck on the man’s chin rather than his luscious lippage, but suffice to say, it was an incredibly pleasurable experience.
Anyway, we finally found my friends, all of them hooting and hollering as we neared their table, and I suddenly got the urge to yell “Look, ladies! I got me a Kutcher!”
I woke, unfortunately, to the sounds of my son slurping a Jolly Rancher lollipop, which he then accidentally dropped into my hair. Not sure which one of us was more upset, really.
posted by Ms. Lori @ 9:09 AM
8 Comments:
Ahhh parenthood. I just love waking up out of a sound sleep and looking into the eyes of my li'l smooth operator... six inches from my own!
Aaaaugh!!!
The question is, was it the Jolly Rancher-slurping that inspired the dream, or was it the dream that inspired the Jolly Rancher-slurping (and dropping)?
Either way, consider yourself lucky your dream was so rudely interrupted: "Ashton Kutcher" is just an anagram for "Rotten sack, huh?"
Jas, just once, I would love to awaken to a beam of sunshine instead of two little eyes boring a hole in my forehead. ;-) Aw, they're so darn cute, though...
Editor, true, the boy doesn't do a thing for me, but in dreams...Well, I'm sure you've had a few where you're canoodling with Ann Coulter, or perhaps Laura Bush, right?
Ew. I just made myself ill...
Well at least it was a Jolly Rancher brand lollipop and not a half eaten tootie pop which can be so messy...:-)
Anyway, I have obviously been super busy with the new baby, but I have finally posted a new review. Check it out when you get a chance.
Take Care,
Ah, Mr. Rotting New Daddy! ;-) Good to see you among the, er, living! I'll be visiting you soonishly, dear.
Blackadder, Glad to hear things are looking up for you! Woo hoo! Drinks are on you! ;-) What's the good news, man?
Muy fresco, Blackadder! Must've been a strange yet proud moment to discover that. And congrats on the unexpected bucks! Now go getcher six-pack and relax for a moment -- you deserve it!
why do they always know when to wake up? NOT!
Ah, Professor, 'tis one of the great mysteries of life...
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