The Hills (Probably) Have EyesGuess what I’ll be doing on August 5th?
Go ahead, take a guess.
Noooo, not waxing Lar’s back…Good try, though. One more guess.
Again, wrong. You should know Ms. Lori well enough by now to realize she abhors anything even slightly farm-related.
All right, one last try, because I love you…
GAH! Are you out of your freaking mind? What would make you believe there was even a remote possibility I’d be interested in that? Sick is what it is. Sick and twisted, and…Actually, it’s not a bad idea, but I’d have to really work on Lar to get him to agree to that one, and I gag easily, which makes for unpleasant work, if you know what I‘m saying…Nah, forget it.
Okay, I’ll tell you what I’ll be doing on August 5th, because frankly, I‘m tired of your ignorance.
On August 5th, I will be going on a…
***awkward drum roll***
That’s right, my terrified little ass will be lurking about Rolling Hills here in Western New York, a famously haunted estate that was featured last year on the SciFi Channel’s Ghost Hunters, armed to the gills with flashlight, camera, sage (to ensure no hitchhiking spirits), and plenty of beer, all in the hopes of capturing some ghostly activity. Should I be fortunate enough to do so, I can’t promise that I won’t poop my pants, so I’ll be sure to include a change of underwear in my arsenal as well.
EDIT: Ghost hunt date changed to September 30. Mommy!