One Whipped Mother

Goodbye

If I do post again on here, it certainly won't be any time soon. Go ahead and update your bookmarks.

It's been swell.

posted by Ms. Lori @ 7:02 PM

My Brother...

Is one magnificent bastard.

posted by Ms. Lori @ 11:19 PM 3 comments

Sacred Shopping

So yesterday, after Lar and I took the boy to visit his new first grade teacher and classroom, we decided to go to CVS for some snacks. As we pulled into the parking lot, Brandon excitedly hopped up and down in his seat and said this:

"Oh, awesome! We're at Jesus Penney's already?"

Um.

I, of course, asked him to repeat what he'd just said.

Yes, he'd said "Jesus Penney's."

When I laughed (way too much, like a loon), my boy got all embarrassed and said, "I know this isn't Jesus Penney's, Mom! We're at CBS!"

Excellent, my little man. Excellent.

posted by Ms. Lori @ 12:17 PM 1 comments

No Respect for the Hill?

I like Joe Biden, really I do...But I can't help feeling as if I've been played. I mean, what the hell was going on in Obama's big Skeletor head when he was making his short list, huh?

Let's imagine that scenario, just for fun, 'kay?

Mid-afternoon, Barack Obama's office, Hart Senate Office Building. The smooth yet disturbing sounds of REM mingles with soft laughter, papers rustling, coffee cups settling against saucers.

Barack Obama sits at his desk, sleeves rolled to his elbows, brow furrowed in extreme concentration.

Obama: Jeepers, so many fine folks to choose from! Lessee, for starters we have...Joe Biden...Like that guy. Good man. Solid. Definitely would appeal to bluecollar voters. Experience up the yingyang. What is it -- thirty years or more? Honest, almost to a fault...

Advisor #1: Yeah, "honest." Like when he referred to you as "articulate" and "clean"?

The room vibrates with poorly hidden "inside" laughter.

Obama: Hush, boy. Okay, so he's a bit...Odd. At times. Likes to suckle his foot now and then, but I enjoy a man who has no mental filter, you know?

Advisor #4: Sir, Clinton? Shouldn't we --

Advisor #2: Hey, what about that Bayh guy?

Advisor #3: Um, dude. Bayh? And who would this "Bayh" be?

Obama: Yes! Good call. Put 'im on the list.

Advisor #3: But, who is he?

Obama: Never you mind. Onward, then...All right, I'm liking Richardson. What say you?

Advisor #4: [loudly} Excuse me, sir, but what about Hillary Clinton? She's --

Advisor #1: You know who would be great? Tim Caine, man. He's totally awesome! Used to play racquetball with the guy way back when...

Obama: Sure, why not? Certainly couldn't hurt to have him on board, being that Virginia's a red state and all.

Advisor #3: Tim who?

Advisor #4: [exasperated] Hillary Clinton, sir? Wouldn't it be prudent to --

Advisor #2: Kathleen Sebelius!

Advisor #3: Seriously, now, I feel like such a 'tard, but, who...?

Obama: Most excellent! Superb! Might quiet down those pesky Clinton shrews.

Advisor #1: Jospehine Kumquaticas!

Obama: Beautiful! I like it!

Advisor #2: Frank P. Doodlepants!

Obama: Brilliant!

Advisor #3: [perplexed, but willing to play] Danderous Macintosh!

Obama: Now you're talking! Keep 'em coming, people!

Advisor #4: [sheepishly] Hillary Clinton?

An aide sticks her head into the room and announces that the pizzas have been delivered.

Advisor #1: Mmmm, pizza!

Obama: There'd better be pineapples...Pineapples are important. They give the pizza pie a certain glamor, right? A sensuous shock to the tastebuds...An unexpected slap to the senses that is both invigorating and comforting.

Advisor #4 runs from the room, weeping.

Obama: Geezy-wheezy! What's up with her?

posted by Ms. Lori @ 9:09 AM 3 comments

5:00 a.m., April 28,2008

For my mother, Suzanne Marie.

The suffering has ended.

posted by Ms. Lori @ 7:14 PM 21 comments

It's Bad

My mother has been going downhill -- rapidly -- since she began receiving "comfort" care a little under a month ago.

It has been unbelievably hard for me to see her this way. Most days, I do not want to visit her. The cancer is obviously in her brain now. Sometimes, she speaks like a six-year-old. Sometimes she calls out for her mommy.

And there are other things too awful to mention.

We finally found a good hospice house that will take her in, and I'm supposed to meet with them next Tuesday, but I feel in my bones she won't be leaving the hospital.

You know, I've witnessed loved ones go through the dying process before, but I've never, ever seen the agony my mother is going through.

I thought that was the stuff of fiction.

I swear to god, never saw anything like it...

posted by Ms. Lori @ 3:13 AM 11 comments

Chemtrails Are Pretty!

These pictures were taken in my backyard at approximately 10:30 a.m. Thursday morning.

These criss-crosses, which were observed by me, my kids, and my brother, were also seen in the skies while driving to see my mom in the hospital around 11:00 a.m. The otherwise clear, blue skies were covered in these patterns.

When we returned, those trails were still visible, though dispersed and "fattened," at approximately 12:30 p.m.

Although I've noticed this phenomenon for a couple of years now, it has been occurring more frequently in the last year or so.

posted by Ms. Lori @ 1:54 AM 1 comments