Friday, July 21, 2006

Bollywood? More Like GOLLYwood!

Once again, Lar and I are watching our middle daughter’s friend for a few days while her parents are away at a conference, and it’s always a pleasure to have her here. This is a bright, adorable kid who has a wonderful sense of humor, a kind heart (she’s always nice to the boy, includes him in games, much to the irritation of his sisters), and a fascinating life story. She was born in Bombay, adopted by her parents there -- mom is Indian, dad is American, both brilliant professors at RIT -- and has visited more countries than I’ll probably ever see in my lifetime. She delights in introducing my daughter to Indian culture, the special celebrations, beautiful clothing, the delicious foods, and she even occasionally brings treats for me, which may be why she happens to be my favorite friend of Sarah’s. Bring me treats, your score rises ten points each time. (I added that last bit in case my oldest daughter’s boyfriend reads this).

So last night, the girl arrived packed and ready for her stay here, duffle bag filled to the brim with snacks and bathing suits, toothbrush and GameBoy, games, books -- and a treat for me! And not just any treat -- Indian cinema! What a sweetheart, that girl, to remember our last conversation wherein we discussed Indian cinema, Bollywood, such as it may be, and how interested I was in foreign films, especially Asian and East Indian.

Darling, precious, sweet, thoughtful girl.

The smile on her face was heart-melting as she reached into her bag and produced -- proudly, I might add -- the film. I anxiously ripped it away from her tender hand and inspected the cover. “Everyone who’s seen this has loved it,” she said with that lovely, proud smile.

I hurriedly flipped the DVD over and read the synopsis. “My mom and dad really like this one.”

My throat dry, my stomach lurching a bit, I flipped the case over again and stared at the dark-haired beauties that graced the cover, stared at their half-closed eyes, their luscious lips barely connecting. “Um. Honey? Have you seen this?”

“No, I haven’t. I think it’s for big people. But everyone says it’s a great film.”

I continued staring at the case, read the words “BANNED IN INDIA!” over and over again, my mouth quivering, tried to compose myself as wild laughter bubbled within my chest as I read the words “LESBIANS!" and “HOT!”

“Oh, you shouldn’t have…” I managed, my face, I’m sure, as red as the DVD cover.

“No problem!” she said cheerfully. “Enjoy!” Then she skipped out of the room to go play, oh, I dunno, dolls or something.

I immediately ran outside and told Lar about what had just happened, and he laughed, as expected, but what I didn’t expect was that he then jumped up from his chair like his ass was on fire, ran into the house, and finally -- finally -- hooked up the DVD player that’d been growing dust in our bedroom.

Yay for lesbians!

Addendum: Poor Lar. Turns out the flick is a beautifully made and intellectual character study, not a porno.

To say he was disappointed is an understatement.

BWA-hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

9 Comments:

At 2:23 PM, Blogger Alexis said...

"Yay for lesbians!"

Truer words have never been spoken.

Man, you rock! x x

 
At 2:41 PM, Blogger Editor at Large said...

Yay for lesbians, Lar, and Ms. Lori!

When you're finished watching your Bollywood DVD, go rent "Tipping the Velvet." It'll help ensure that your DVD player stays hooked up.

 
At 1:35 AM, Blogger PriyaSachdev said...

bollywood is greatm and i love it!!! go bollywood

Priya Sachdev Model

 
At 12:49 PM, Blogger Ms. Lori said...

Alexis: ***french kiss***

Editor, I may have to rent "Tipping the Velvet" now (see my addendum). Thanks for the suggestion! Are there boobs? Naked ones?

Lar's poor little dog-like heart couldn't take another disappointment...

 
At 2:05 PM, Blogger Alena said...

Hahaha.. you crack my ass up, Lori.

Yay for lesbians, indeed..

And speaking of "Tipping the Velvet".. it's a good film, but I think I like "Fingersmith" better (both are books from the same author, adapted to film by the BBC), mainly because there are twists and lots of intrigue.. plus the sex scenes are kinda hot. ;)

 
At 11:34 PM, Blogger e-blackadder said...

Lol, that is effing hysterical.

Little wonder us guys have such a bad rep, when it comes down to "screw a beautifully made and intellectual character study, where are the lesbians?!?!"

 
At 3:45 PM, Blogger Redneck Nerdboy! said...

Lori, all porn is a beautifully made and intellectual character study!

:D

 
At 9:49 AM, Blogger Ms. Lori said...

Alena, "Fingersmith" ? Why does that title make me want to giggle? ;-)

Thanks for the rec, hon!

Jas and Blackadder, you are both leetle pervos -- I love it!

 
At 10:09 AM, Blogger Alice said...

"Yay for Lesbians!"

You know, that brings back memories.

In fact, funny memories; fit for a Blog entry.

Cheers!

Poor Lar. That wasn't fair. All that effort and then no action!

Yay for getting your DVD fixed up, though.

Hey Lor, just popped in to say I'm alive and kicking, and am as far as I know here to stay for a while.

Lucky you.

*hugs*

PS: How's Lar's sunburn? Has it eased?

 

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