Fun-Filled Facts About My Weekend1) The Ghost Hunt that I was supposed to attend on Saturday is postponed until September 30.
2) So Lar and I went to a party instead.
3) I met one of the most interesting and adorable human beings ever.
4) He has piercing ice-blue eyes and, due to a near-fatal car accident in his twenties, a dent in his head big enough to fit a small woman’s fist.
You may be wondering how it is that I know a small woman's fist would fit in his head-dent. Aw, c'mon, sure you are. Well, the man actually grabbed my hand while we were conversing on a completely different subject, which, naturally, startled me a bit, and proceeded to plunge it into the head-dent while shrieking, "Feel the dent! Feel it!" It was an awesome experience.
5) I love his wife, too. So I think I’ll adopt them.
6) A six-year-old girl, with whom I’d just become acquainted, asked me my name. I told her, and she said, “I wish my last name was Young.”
“Really?“ I said, “why is that, honey?”
“Well, because I’m young, so Young would be a good name for me!”
I nodded and said, “Ah, of course. Perfectly good name like that wasted on old, old me…”
“Oh, but you’re a young old person, so it’s okay!”
7) I ate approximately 4.2 lbs of ham yesterday. And a bucket of cheddar cheese mashed potatoes. A bushel of salad. A half gallon of chocolate almond ice cream. And that’s after consuming a pile of shit on a shingle (for lunch), with a lovely fried egg sandwich as a chaser.
8) Jesus help me, I forgot to include the kids’ bridge mix I stole out of the cupboard. I ate every last chocolate-covered morsel.
9) Even after all of that abnormal chowing, it wasn’t until I felt like elbowing Lar in his thyroid gland, just for making one of his usual bad pun/jokes, that I realized I’m currently in the throes of raging PMS.
10) I watched the season premiere of ”Flavor of Love” last night (my very guilty pleasure). One of the skanky hos pooped her pants during the elimination round. Flavor Flav almost vomited.
Wow. I just realized the irony of a skank pooping her pants during the elimination round.
94) I’m not feeling my best this morning.