My Husband is a Strange and Awesome Being From Planet ToolSo last night Lar and I were hanging with his business partner, Dack Smackler, and his adorable wife, Dusky Monroe, having a few beers, some munchies (oh, my God, you must try Cape Cod Potato Chips! Divine!), and we were having a grand time laughing, talking, just goofing on one another and enjoying every adult‘s favorite party game, Age Regression, a.k.a., Insult Your Significant Other. It was apparent early on in the evening that Dusky and I would win the most points in the Goof Off, much to the chagrin of our husbands, which is a beautiful, beautiful thing, let me tell you. Were I ever to lose face in a name-calling contest, I might just end it all right then and there. Anyway.
We were having a great time, a relaxing, stupid, much-needed evening of idiotic banter and lovely refreshments -- that is, until Lar, who is not known for his witty comebacks, put a damper on the party by confusing all involved with this little gem: “Oh, yeah, Lori? Well, you…You’re a…You…You’re a CORN-HATING WHITE WOMAN!”
The silence at the table was deafening.
Dusky, obviously embarrassed for my husband, managed a weak smile, a small twitter, then politely averted her eyes and focused intently on her cocktail. Dack slithered from the room on the pretense of checking on the kids. Me, I just stared at Lar, my feelings wildly fluctuating from humiliation, empathy, and disgust to sorrow, pity, and finally, hatred.
Good Lord, what have I married?
ADDENDUM: My friend, the fabulous Ms. Jordan Rosenfeld, is looking for “overheards,” as in amusing snippets of conversations that you or someone you know overheard -- if you‘ve something to share, visit Jordan's blog for details.