Wednesday, June 06, 2007

My Infrequent Blogging...

Will continue to be infrequent. As some of you know, my life has been, um...Interesting...To say the least.

And I thought last year was bad...I haven't even told you the half of it. Don't feel insulted, though -- I am, if you're not yet aware, one of the original See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil monkeys (yes, there were four of us at one time, but I evolved beyond my brother monkeys some two hundred years ago). I was known as "Spew No Evil," my place being to just sit there and internalize everything my fellow monkey brothers ignored (Speak No Evil actually did speak, but only in my ear). My monkey brothers jokingly referred to me as "The Robot Monkey About to Blow a Gasket." Which is amazing, really, considering robots hadn't yet been invented.

Anyway.

I'm exhausted, both mentally and physically, and my circuits may be shorting out. Probably due to the mass quantities of light beer I've been consuming lately.

The upside to this current personal hell of mine, however, is that by this time next year I fully expect the following to occur:

1) I will discover ancient tablets buried in my backyard that prove the existence of a tiny race of people that once ruled the universe.

2) Some anonymous benefactor will write out a check in the sum of one million dollars to cover the cost of my four kids' Harvard education.

3) I become head writer for "Late Night With Conan O'Brien."

I love me some karma.

6 Comments:

At 8:05 PM, Blogger gerry rosser said...

I thought it was "lite" beer.

Hmm, tablets in the back yard. You mean like the Mormons?

 
At 9:26 AM, Blogger Ms. Lori said...

Yes, Gerry, like the Mormons. The tiny beings are known as Mormon Lites.

 
At 1:16 PM, Blogger Rabbitch said...

I read that as "become head WAITER for Late Night ..." and I thought "whoa, she could do better than that."

 
At 12:51 AM, Blogger kirby said...

Hmmm, I wonder which monkey brother I would be?

And by the way, if you became Conan's head writer, they'd have to let your kids into Harvard for free. They'd be legacies once removed.

 
At 9:54 AM, Blogger Ms. Lori said...

Rabbitch, actually, I did mean to write "head waiter." It's been a lifelong dream of mine to serve Conan O'Brien a finely roasted buttsteak.

Kirby, you would be "Eat No Evil."

Welcome to the brotherhood.

 
At 10:55 PM, Blogger Granny said...

Will $1,000,000 actually cover Harvard?

I thought about the Mormons with the tablets too.

 

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