Wednesday, January 24, 2007

#6 in My Series of “Incredibly Bad Poetry by Celebrities or Fictional Characters”

I Am a Fat Little Clam

By Coco’s Hoo-Haw

I am a fat little clam
A fat little clam is what I am

I have no name, and I have no mind
I am fond of pants whose fibers do bind

Though rotund, unruly, stretchy and sloppy
My man don’t never, ever get floppy

When he get wit’ me, he all happy
And will continue to be till he a grandpappy

I am a chubby abomination, this is true
And yes, it is difficult finding a loo

That can accommodate my gigantic proportions
But my girl is an expert at unusual contortions

So all you haters can just call me ma’am, or
Madam Clam, perhaps even, Madam Can of Spam

Or Overstuffed Taco, Chalupa and Cheese
With extra chicken, if you please

Don’t matter to me what folks may say
‘Cause I’m Coco’s hoo-haw, and I’m here to stay


At 9:49 AM, Blogger Ms. Theologian said...

Wow. I think you characterized the needs and goals of the hoo-haw well.

At 10:33 AM, Blogger Myfanwy Collins said...

Ouchie! That photo hurts me "down there."

You are most hilarious, Ms. Lori!


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