Friday, April 28, 2006

Smile, Even Though it's Breaking...

Found this over at my girl Alexis' place...


And for your reading displeasure, a companion piece...

Beat Me Daddy, Eight to the Bar
(posted this bit of poetic genius two years ago, but feel it’s important to revisit today)

Jack Black, Jack Black, I love you, you know
From the top of your skull to the tip of your toe
Your eyes, how they spin round your orbital sockets
How I love you, Jack Black, down to the lint in your pockets

Your mouth, rictus, and your teeth, chattering song
Make me weak, make me hungry, make me sing right along
Tenacious D make me wanna go Black and never go back
You, honey bee (not Kyle Gass), are the real daddy mack

Sunrise, sunset, and the day in between
Is filled with Jack Black -- hey! -- you’re really keen!
So give me a sign, O monkey-like one, show me that you care
I’ll come when you call, anytime, anywhere

I will make your bed, I will cook, dust and mop
I will make your home sparkle and feed you till you pop
Christ, Jack Black, I’ll even wash your shorts and socks
Or meticulously repair all the wiring in your home so you never get shocks

Hear me, Sir Teddy Bear, Sir Wild and Wooly
I’d be a good wife, and would submit to you fully
No headaches or excuses, oh, no, not from me
Lori's drive-thru would always be open for Jack Black the Mighty

So marry me, lover, make me a happy girl
And give me your heart, your soul and your pearl
Buy me diamonds and rubies and things made of gold
And I’ll make you happy until you are really freaking old

9 Comments:

At 10:24 AM, Blogger G-Man said...

The video was amazing! Shared it with the family and it scored a perfect 10.
Your poem, btw, is a fucking Pulitzer prize winning, incredulous play of words that I suggest you submit for publishing. I bow down before you!

 
At 10:32 AM, Blogger Ms. Lori said...

HAHAHA! I thank you for the kind words regarding my dazzling bit of poo-poo. If they gave out Pulitzers for high achievement in literary dung, I'm sure I would have it in the bag. ;-)

 
At 10:37 AM, Blogger bevjackson said...

whatever you're doing, I want some.
Hilarious, all!

(how do you get a video into your blog?? I can't figure out how .)

 
At 10:42 AM, Blogger Ms. Lori said...

Thanks, Bev! All you do is click on the YouTube symbol, which takes you to the actual site, and there are codes to cut and paste into your blog. Easy!

 
At 11:28 AM, Blogger David Niall Wilson said...

You have literary dung in a bag? (lol) Just dont' go lighting it and tossing it on MY doorstep missy...

D

 
At 12:10 PM, Blogger Alice said...

That poem is surprisingly addictive, all be it exceptionally odd in a brilliant sort of way.
Love it. ;-)

Got to admit that I'd seen the LOTR piss take before though.

Loved that, too.

Hey there Ms. Lori from Li'l old England; liking your posts as much as ever and wishing you and yours a great bank holiday weekend.

See you Tuesday. :-)

Alice xxx

PS: know I made this big speech about not pestering (yahda yahda yahda...) but got to say this: put me outta my misery and let me know if you liked the next section of A.D.P. I sent you, please...?

 
At 12:32 PM, Blogger Alena said...

I don't think I'll ever tire of seeing that LoTR clip. Hahaha.

 
At 12:47 PM, Blogger Redneck Nerdboy! said...

Jack Black is one of a kind! Your poem rocks and I'm certain that if Jack stumbled across your blog and saw it, he might blush and giggle like a school girl!

I'm trying to visualize that.

 
At 9:06 AM, Blogger Alexis said...

Isn't that a killer clip??? You look like Heather Locklear??? Man I look like a Tim Burton character . . . Some girls have all the luck xxx

 

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