Monday, April 10, 2006

Museum of Theoretical Horrors!

John Adolfi’s mission in life is to prove the theory of intelligent design, and dangnabbit, with the help of a deformed kitten carcass, he will! Adolfi’s Lost World Museum, opening later this year in Syracuse, New York, will exhibit natural curiosities, deformed dead creatures, and ancient artifacts, all in the name of creationism, sort of like a preachy Ripley’s Believe it or Not. First up on his list of impressive “proof-positives,” is Cy, the unfortunate one-eyed kitten that was born last year in Redmond, Oregon and died one day later. Cy’s owner, Traci Allen, sold the remains to Mr. Adolfi for his Lost World Museum, because, as she states, "creationism should be an option for people to consider.."

Confused? All right, then, let’s head on over to the museum’s website again, where Adolfi explains how poor Cy, a creature born with a rare disorder called holoprosencephaly, which can produce the cyclopean effect in both animals and humans, debunks the myth of evolution. According to Adolfi, Cy proves that evolutionists don’t know what of they speak, because, jeepers creepers, if there weren’t dinosaurs with one eye, then that means humans came from God’s sandbox, because, praise the Lord, mutations, according to scientists, lifted us from ape to Man, are evolutionary necessities to build a better body, but how can that be when Cy lived only one day -- doesn’t that prove once and for all that evolution is a pack of lies?! Land sakes, people, his dead kitty proves once and for all that having only one eye and no nose is really freaking BAD! And, uh, so…Evolution is, heh heh. Um. Wrong?

Still confused? Yeah, me too. Well, if you haven’t already, head on over to the museum’s site, and if you decipher some kind of sense out of it, I’d be grateful for any light you can shed on this.

Also, if any of you have a direct line to God, could you ask Him something for me? Would you ask Him what race and nationality Adam and Eve were? I’d be interested in knowing, especially considering that since evolution is bogus and all, and “mutation” only mean destruction, how the Chinese came to be. As He already knows, there’s absolutely no mention of Chinese people in the Bible, so any sensible person would assume that they simply aren’t human…Could they possibly be aliens?

15 Comments:

At 11:32 AM, Blogger David Niall Wilson said...

Don't get me started. My kids attend a private "Christian" school, and some of the history and science they portray as...well...history and science? Feh. Among the blessed truths are such nuggets as the obvious fact that Satan planted dinosaur bones to test our faith, and mankind has only existed for some ridiculously small number of years, despite the obviously demonic and spiritually altered results of carbon dating...

And yes, of COURSE, natural selection and deformity are the same thing! See, God creates each thing new and seperate from all other things...just sometimes he drops and spills things, and gets clumsy..he always cleans it up (lol).

There once was a cat with one eye
Who according to Darwin must try
To see better than two
With his one baby blue
But according to GOD he must die...

 
At 1:41 PM, Blogger Redneck Nerdboy! said...

Creationism is yet another analogious truism that has been pressed forth by humanity in its ever-prodding quest of discovery of itself, a device by which it has in one regard brought about a sense of individuality, and in another regard pryed ajar an unobstructed passage of worms.

But for me, I just like looking at cool weird shit.

 
At 1:49 PM, Blogger Alena said...

I was planning on saying exactly what David said.. don't get me started. I'm a biologist and to me, the phallacies of these "intelligent design" arguments are akin to fingernails scraping down a chalkboard. Really, really grating and aggravating. And obviously, what's even worse is when you try to explain the science, the ID proponents immediately stick their fingers in their ears and go, "Lalalalalala.. can't hear you.."

Actually, the best lecture of last semester was the first lecture in advanced bio.. there were a lot of pre-med students in the class and the prof spent the entire lecture doing "Evolution for Dummies" while cracking on the ID theory and explaining that if you didn't buy evolution, you should drop the class. I was like, "Preach on, Brother!"

 
At 2:27 PM, Blogger Ms. Lori said...

David, this: "Satan planted dinosaur bones to test our faith, and mankind has only existed for some ridiculously small number of years" KILLS me. How can ANY sane, intelligent educator believe this to be valid? ARGH! It scares my soul (yes, I do believe all creatures have them) that there are so many folks out there who truly believe it and preach it to our children.

Another great poem, btw. :-)

Jas, I like looking at weird shit, too, which is why I just might take a ride over to that museum when it opens. What a freak show! There'll be one-eyed cats, two-headed pigs, AND no-brained creationists all in one place!

Alena, you said, "when you try to explain the science, the ID proponents immediately stick their fingers in their ears and go, "Lalalalalala.. can't hear you.."

Exactly. Yet these are the same folks who don't believe in life on other planets. Okay, so a giant all-knowing being of unknown origin molded man out of mud, but couldn't possibly have created dinosaurs or life anywhere else in the universe. Sure, I'll buy that.

 
At 2:31 PM, Blogger leenie71689 said...

Evolution. Big topic. But why is it such a big topic. Why are people SO obsessed with it? Does it matter whether or not poor lil' cyclops kitty was created as an experiment in intelligent design? He was born. He died. End of story. I think the thing is that things like this scare the bejezzus out of people...so they have to try and rationalize why it happened. I think thinking about evolution is comforting to some people...thinking that as this world we live in is ever changing that somehow our species will evolve and adapt and survive...or maybe it's just interesting to think about and I'm curious about this museum.

Can I hear a "ROAD TRIP"!!!

 
At 3:36 PM, Blogger David Niall Wilson said...

Creationism is just another lazy way for man to sit back and say "I read it in a book, and so...it is so" and that's that - which I could tolerate, I guess, if their next step wasn't always "Now, believe what I believe or I will beat you to death with a stick."

If God has nothing better to do that create two-headed pigs in an oddball, illogical attempt to discredit Darwinism, then I want no part of him...

On the other hand, this museum WOULD make a great road trip (lol).

D

 
At 4:04 PM, Blogger Ms. Lori said...

...if their next step wasn't always "Now, believe what I believe or I will beat you to death with a stick."

Exactamundo, David. Of ocurse, there are the *rational* ID believers who say that God used the process of evolution to achieve humankind. Which could very well be possible. We'll never know until we die. Maybe.

Leenie, yeah! ROAD TRIP!!!

 
At 4:05 PM, Blogger David Niall Wilson said...

Well, if we can't have ultimate truth, I say we should at least get to leer at one-eyed cats in jars....and who's up for a two-headed pig?

D

 
At 2:18 PM, Blogger Victor said...

Has anyone tried to leave a comment on their site?

I've tried but it doesn't seem to be working.

Typical, start something and then deny any discourse.

 
At 2:40 PM, Blogger David Niall Wilson said...

I signed up for an account, but it never e-mailed the password...so I let it slide. The guy is either an idiot, or he's just trying to stir people up - either way life is too short. I wouldn't mind seeing the one-eyed cat though...

 
At 10:48 AM, Blogger Ms. Lori said...

Hmmm. I haven't tried to comment, but that doesn't surprise me, Victor.

What were you going to write?

 
At 12:24 PM, Blogger David Niall Wilson said...

I was going to point out that mutation and evolution aren't the same thing...that if he smokes crack and his child comes out different, it isn't natural selection, and to ask him if he REALLY sees no differences in the various species of animals on the planet over the years.

And to call him an idiot (lol)

D

 
At 2:32 PM, Blogger Victor said...

Just thought I'd counter his postings with a dose of reality.

But then I doubt reality would be a familiar concept for them.

 
At 2:47 PM, Blogger emmapeelDallas said...

Ohhh, I love this! I'm going to send the addy for this site to several of my friends who'll get a kick out of it. Don't get me started. I've come to love the South, but when I moved here, to the bible belt, being a liberal, cheerful agnostic, it was quite the culture shock...and I'm still not over it, and dunno if I ever will be.

Judi

 
At 4:19 AM, Blogger Alice said...

...Eh?

Bloody Hell. The guy's nuts.

Oh, sorry. Not PC, huh? Well, ok, lets see....

Nope. Still nuts.

Hmm. I feel a post coming up...

 

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