Tuesday, March 28, 2006

All Right -- Who Cut the Card? Er, Cheese?

White House Chief of Staff, Andrew Card, resigns today despite Dubya’s bollock-spew last week when asked about near-future shake-ups in the administration::

"I've got a staff of people that have, first of all, placed their country above their self-interests," he said at the time. "These are good, hard- working, decent people. And we've dealt with a lot. We've dealt with a lot. We've dealt with war. We've dealt with recession. We've dealt with scandal. We've dealt with Katrina.” We’ve dealt [many farts] with [great humor] and [laughed and laughed and laughed].

"I mean, they've had a lot [of crow] on their plate. And I appreciate their performance and their hard work [their wonderful ability to lie with straight faces] and they've got my confidence," he said. [While smirking.]

Bush said, "I'm satisfied with the people I've surrounded myself with. We've been a remarkably stable administration, and I think that's good for the country." [And then a bolt of lightning streaked through the clear, blue sky and hit Bush directly between the eyes.]

All right, enough childish political commentary. I’m sick, very, very sick, and I must now go lie down with the dogs. Well, my cat, actually…

Hope to be back here within the next couple of days. And I promise, no fart jokes.

9 Comments:

At 10:48 AM, Blogger David Niall Wilson said...

Argh... hope you feel better. Your new tribal name is:

She who lies with do..er..cats

My favorite ridiculous point that he made was the part about putting aside their self-interests. If they did that, it was only so there would be room directly in front of them for MORE self interests...

DNW

 
At 10:56 AM, Blogger Bill said...

Feel better, Lori.

 
At 2:51 PM, Blogger G-Man said...

Get well, woman!
I placed a book order last night on Amazon: The Brief History of the Dead: a Novel and The Eyes of the Carp. I read an interesting review of the former.

 
At 3:08 PM, Blogger Alena said...

While you're sick and being at one with the animals, order "Chicken Soup for the Cat and Dog Lover's Soul" and read it. Seriously, I know the Chicken Soup books are cheesy and crap, but I cannot put this book down. It's literary crack!!! It may make you a bit sneefy, though. :)

Hope you feel better!

 
At 6:55 PM, Blogger Redneck Nerdboy! said...

Oh, I don't know. Bush has done an excellent job of...

Of...

Well, there must be something.

[looking breathlessly through transcripts and newspapers]

 
At 3:46 AM, Blogger Alice said...

Ouch, Lori, great funny post, but sick you should not be: go lie down with your cat, rest up and come back when you're feeling refreshed and ready to take the piss, moan and rant anew.

Toodle-pip.

Hey, I'll send you a Get Well Ecard. THAT'LL make you feel better.

...Oh shut up, it will too...

 
At 1:13 PM, Blogger Alena said...

Oh, I don't know. Bush has done an excellent job of...

Of...

Well, there must be something.



Oooh, ooooh, can I play? My answer is: RUNNING UP THE NATIONAL DEBT.

I can't find where I found this statistic, but imagine the debt originally, a hefty sum that has added up over the past 200+ years. Halve that amount, and you'll have the amount Bush has added in the past 5 years alone. He's talented!

 
At 2:44 PM, Blogger Redneck Nerdboy! said...

... still thinking.

 
At 7:23 PM, Blogger Granny said...

Feel better, get some rest and we'll be here when you get back.

 

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