Monday, March 13, 2006

A Poem by Livia Soprano (Tony's Late Mother)

I Roll in My Grave

by Livia Soprano

I worry about you, dear
The way your breath comes in difficult gasps
While you eat that friggin’ sushi
And capicole
And veal parmesan
And rigatoni
And all of that bread
And the cannoli
And the putana du jour

MA-dawn, and when you jerk across the floor
In the morning, hair askew, belly trembling
Like a gigantic Baby Huey
I think, minchia! What the hell
Is up with that waddle? Stunada!
Friggin’ mook
What? You want you should die? Leave your business
To Chris? The stugats! Friggin’ dope fiend
Capo Bastone, my ass
More like Pezzo di Merda

So lay off the linguini, the mounds of
Bracciole, gnocchi and wine
And take Carmela on a nice, long walk
Three times a week, more if you can
And maybe there’ll be a little less boom
In your fuckin’ bada bing

Okay, I'm done


Glossary:

Putana: Whore
MA-dawn (Madonn‘):: Madonna, Mother of Christ, similar to exclaiming “oh, my God”
Minchia: Penis, used as curse or exclamation of surprise
Stunada: Stupid, insane
Mook: Idiot
Stugats: Stupid Dick
Capo Bastone: Underboss
Pezzo di Merda: Piece of shit

10 Comments:

At 12:23 PM, Blogger Alice said...

That's refreshingly rude and direct.

I like it. ;-)

 
At 12:39 PM, Blogger Ms. Lori said...

Dead women tell no lies. ;-)

Do you watch The Sopranos, Alice?

 
At 2:34 PM, Blogger Redneck Nerdboy! said...

It's just so (sniff) beautiful!

 
At 4:29 PM, Blogger Granny said...

I don't watch them but I understood where you were coming from.

 
At 5:56 PM, Blogger Editor at Large said...

Hey Ms. Lori, you might be onto something here. Most poets don't get rich or famous until after they're dead (if then), so why don't they just wait until they're dead to write poetry?

 
At 8:01 PM, Blogger Ms. Lori said...

Yes, Jas, it really is. I wept, too, when I first read it.

Ann, you mean you understand where *Livia* is coming from, right? ;-)

Hey Editor, that is exactly Livia's plan -- "I Roll in My Grave" is her first ever attempt at poetry, and she's been dead for two years now! I think she might one day be looked upon as one of the greats.

 
At 12:19 AM, Blogger Granny said...

Yep - forgot you were quoting.

 
At 3:56 AM, Blogger Alice said...

Nope. Never have. Is it any good?

Thanks for the brilliant insulting comment by the way. Now all I need is an ignorant bastard to turn up and start hurling abuse at me so I can take the piss out of him and give everyone a giggle at his/her expense.

...Not that I'm looking forward to the possibility that it might happen... ;-)

 
At 11:43 AM, Blogger G-Man said...

We were once told by our marriage counsellor that mothers-in-law can operate almost as effectively from the grave. Maybe he thought one of us was planning a hit?

 
At 1:38 PM, Blogger Ms. Lori said...

You're very welcome, Alice, ya old gutter rat. ;-)

And yes, The Sopranos is one of the best shows on TV, imo. Too bad this is its last season...WAH!

G-Man, my MIL has always been nice to me, otherwise she might've wound up in Livia's position -- writing bad poetry from the grave. I kid. ;-)

 

Post a Comment

<< Home