Friday, March 03, 2006

Cock Shopping?

Don’t mind if I do!

Last night I had a dream in which Lar and I went shopping for a new penis -- his, to be exact.

Yes, it was a wonderful time, just me and Lar, finally able to spend time alone, away from the screaming masses (our kids), and the variety on display at the penis store was truly breathtaking. Why, they had every size, shape and color imaginable, some bent, others ramrod straight, and some with adorable little knit caps. After what seemed a long, long time of browsing the manly merchandise, I suggested to my equally enthralled husband that he might like to try on the Jimbo, a lovely toffee-colored specimen of enormous proportion, and just as he was getting ready to emerge from the dressing room, me all aflutter in anticipation, I woke up.

Have you ever tried desperately to go back to sleep, resume a particularly awesome dream, but were unable, then became so frustrated you tore your pillow in half with your teeth? Yeah, me too.

On that note, I’ll leave you by saying that I hope my homeboy, Philip Seymour Hoffman, gets the golden nude this Sunday. Talk about dreamy! That man is not only sexy-fine-glorious, he’s funny, intelligent and one of the best actors of our generation. So, Phil (as I like to call him), if you’re reading this (which, of course, you aren’t, but I’m allowed to dream, aren’t I ? -- see above), I have a few things to say before you head for the red carpet: Have fun. Bring home that Oscar. And don’t forget where you came from. You’re still a RAWchestarian, boy, and don’t tell me your heart doesn’t still lie in Tanglefoot’s. Good luck!

9 Comments:

At 9:03 AM, Blogger Granny said...

I know the feeling of waking up and not wanting a dream to end.

Not that particular dream. Knit caps?

 
At 10:35 AM, Blogger Stephanie said...

Dude, I like Phillip Seymour Hoffman too. Did you see that clip on Letterman where he says he's promised to bark his acceptance speech until he's pulled off stage? I'd so pay to see that.

 
At 12:24 PM, Blogger Jordan E. Rosenfeld said...

I don't know if you read my post about my dream recently of having a penis of my own? In this dream I finally, totally GOT what the whole penis thing was about. I enjoyed it.

I met Phil last summer in my final residency at Bennington. He was up there with an acting troupe thing that they do each summer. I embarrassed myself by approaching him and saying, "I really like your movies..." and shaking his hand. Until I met his girl-thang and kid, I also thought he was gay.

 
At 10:55 PM, Blogger Alena said...

I'm sure Freud would have a field day with your dream, Lori! Jordan, I've had those dreams before and I agree they're strangely enjoyable.

 
At 12:13 AM, Blogger G-Man said...

OK, what do you have hidden in the bottom drawer of your dresser? We want details: size, colour, shape, double or triple A batteries,...

 
At 6:29 AM, Blogger Alexis said...

I LOVE PSH, met him here in London a few years ago, he is HAWT. Ugh. Sigh. Should've hit that one. . .

 
At 5:51 PM, Blogger Ellen said...

What is it with you and Jordan and the penis dreams? And more importantly, when is it my turn?

 
At 10:17 AM, Blogger Ms. Lori said...

Yes, Ann, knit caps. So darn sweet they were, too. ;-)

Stephanie, duuude! I didn't see that clip. He meant actually bark like a dog? I dunno...I'd rather he thank Lori Young for inspiring him to succeed after our one passionate night together in the summer of '89 in the back of his old Ford pickup.

Kidding. unfortunately. :-(

Jordan, we are the PENIS QUEENS!

Ahem. Anyway, you met the Phil? ***jealousy***

Alena, Freud would probably laugh hysterically then throw a cigar in my face.

G-Man, I can say honestly that I'm not a toy-lover. Not that I haven't tried them, you understand, but they ain't for me. I never got the whole appeal of buzzing rubber doodads, but hey, to each her own, man.

Although I do keep a live chicken in my nightstand...

Alexis -- ARRRGGHHH! ***again with the jealousy*** I want to run my hot little fingers through his strawberry blond hair and sing show tunes in his ear. Whatever that means.

Ellen, I hereby declare you an honorary PENIS QUEEN. May you have sweet, manly dreams tonight, luv.

 
At 7:18 PM, Blogger Granny said...

Kinky is a feather, perverted is the entire (live) chicken

 

Post a Comment

<< Home