Just Because I’m in a Really Bad Mood...And feeling uncharacteristically homely today, I thought I’d cheer myself up by surfing the ‘Net for terrible pictures of usually gorgeous women. Feel my pain, bitches.
Apparently, the Cindy Brady look is all the rage now. And I must say, I gloated just a little (fine, a lot) when I discovered that this otherwise exquisite woman looks terrifically bad in a swimsuit. There is a god after all.
I almost felt sorry for her when I first saw this, what with the demonic possession and all, but then I remembered the pornographic Pizza Hut ad where Jessica, half-dressed and obviously suffering from collagen rejection, shoots big cheesy balls of sin into a quivering adolescent boy’s open mouth, and then my pity turned to immense glee.
Well, ‘allo, Miz Jones! Wot’s that scone doin’ on yer face, then? Blimey…Yer old nose, you say? A thousand apologies, ma’am. A thousand apologies!
Honestly, this woman looks so ugly here, my son, who walked into the room just now, said, “Mommy, I don’t like that man.”
Thank you, Brandon, for saving me the time of thinking up an appropriate caption.
Ladies and gentlemen, I am proud to announce that I now feel a little less homely and sad.