Thursday, February 23, 2006

Guess the Artist and His/Her Subject!

"The Fool"

A) A hideously inaccurate portrait of me by Lar, after a twelve of Coors and a good cigar

B) A striking likeness of Lar by me, after a twelve of Coors and one Valium. Okay, maybe two.

C) A portrait of me by my son, Brandon, after a peanut butter sandwich that had been lying around for a couple of hours and a room-temperature glass of O.J.

D) Self-portrait by George W. Bush, no mind-altering substances needed

E) A study of the soul by Condi Rice, after a three-martini lunch and a good look at her conscience

F) A particularly mean-spirited rendition of Harry Whittington by Dick Cheney, after the "incident"

G) A portrait of Martha Stewart by Donald Trump, after Martha bitch-slapped him

H) A good-natured cartoon depicting George W. Bush by President of the United Arab Emirates, Khalifa bin Zayed, after learning the good news


At 1:06 PM, Blogger Stephanie said... many options, so many possibilites. I'm guessing C, but I swear it could be any of these!

At 4:17 PM, Blogger RobinSlick said...

D! No doubt about it.

I really think we need to get to work on letting the rest of the internet know. Bloggers unite! Or something.

Don't mind me, I'm a dork.

And I'm watching the Olympic ice skating medal round tonight with the sound turned off and the music of my choice in the background. I'm thinking obscure Frank Zappa. ( that an oxymoron?) As you probably know, I like to act out my fantasies.

I'll let you know tomorrow which music I selected for the winning skater.

And now to slink off with my pocket protector and collectible comic books.

At 5:05 PM, Blogger Ms. Lori said...

Stephanie, you would be shocked by the answer. Or perhaps not...

Ah, Ms. Dorkinheimer slinks from the shadows to once again torment me with vile atrocities. Fie on you, I say!


At 5:28 PM, Blogger RobinSlick said...

Um, I like Billy Idol...does that count?

Okay, I liked White Wedding and Rebel Yell.

Nothing else.

And here's a fun fact: When my kids recorded with him, it was all too apparent that he now has hair plugs. And it was a botched job.

See what fun facts you learn from Ms. Dorkinheimer?

And I still want to know: If given the choice of Neil Gaiman or Simon from American Idol with whom to be stranded on a desert island, you wouldn't choose Neil?

Now let's be truthful, Ms. Lori.

At 6:57 PM, Blogger Ms. Lori said...

Oh, god, you killed me with the hair plugs story. My once sweet memory of smoking a doob with Billy is now sullied forever by images of doll hair.

And yes, I suppose I would pick Gaiman, but only because he would tell me great stories. Simon's pretty hot, despite his man-bags, but he ain't no storyteller.

At 7:32 PM, Blogger katrina said...

I think you are the funniest woman I know.

At 3:49 AM, Blogger Alice said...

I'm guessing 'C', although 'D' does seem a tempting choice.

Very tempting indeed.

Now tell me which it is and quell my curiosity immediately or I may be forced to torture you by sending you some of my story writing attempts via email and forcing you to read it.

And don't think I won't do it, woman, because by gum, if pushed, I will...

At 9:29 AM, Blogger Ms. Lori said...

Hi, Katrina! And, thank you... I ain't nothing but a big fool with access to a keyboard, but I'm so glad you enjoy the foolery! ;-)

Alice, your question is answered by the above -- I am Queen of Fools. And quite an attractive one at that, as you can see by my son's picture.

As for "torturing" me with your fiction, bring it on, girlie. I have a feeling it won't be near as painful an experience as you seem to think...

At 11:16 AM, Blogger Alice said...

Bring it on?

Very well, I shall. A succulent taster of my bad writing has been sent your way via email and is sitting in your inbox as we speak.

Lesson here?
Don't say "bring it on" to a woman close to her monthly cycle: you may just get your bluff well and truly called.


Your son has talent. Maybe he should enter that piece into Tate Modern?

Seriously. Judging by other contributions I have seen (and how can we forget the toilet seat, ladies and gentlemen) he might actually win something...

At 12:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

KInda looks like ME when I got the results of a biopsy.
Just peeking in,

At 12:26 PM, Blogger Granny said...

C? Funny. Alice fixed her link and you can now read it. See her latest post. It took her three tries, poor thing.

.pps I think is power point which I don't have.


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