Monday, October 10, 2005

More Fascinating Tidbits About the Queen of the Universe

Because the Egyptian (by marriage) princess says it must be done, it shall be done.

TEN YEARS AGO...

I was living in a different house, one that was infected by toxic mold (maybe -- we were always sick, and there was black shit on the basement walls, so…) and an old man who smelled of B.O. Don’t get me wrong -- it was a lovely home, thanks to the magical powers of Lar and his handy hands, not to mention my divine taste and spectacular cleanliness, but the old man who’d died there previous to our moving in just wouldn’t leave, and I think he was a bit evil, truth be told. Hid in my daughters’ closet, reeked up their freshly laundered clothes, caused HUGE flies to appear on Christmas Day (I live in Western New York, so that should give you some idea how fucking wrong that was), among various other horrors. Oh, and I gave birth to my third child, December 12, 1995, which was a beautiful, glorious thing regardless of what the old man thought.

We sold the home the first day it was on the market in the spring of ‘99. Since then, it has deteriorated to the point of being unrecognizable, and has been inhabited by no less than three different families. Like I said, the old man was evil.

FIVE YEARS AGO...

I was just getting acquainted with the internet, beginning my journey into obscure (to the point of being invisible and sad) writerly fame, and my boy was two years from being a twinkle in my eye.

ONE YEAR AGO...

I was happier.

YESTERDAY...

My fingers blew up like sausages, as is the norm lately, and I moaned in pain for most the day. Also, I ate an enormous amount of meatloaf.

5 SONGS I KNOW ALL THE WORDS TO...

“Vincent” (Starry, Starry Night) by Don McLean
“Surrender” by Cheap Trick
“God Save the Queen” by Sex Pistols
“So What” by Anti-Nowhere League
The entire album “The Wall” by Pink Floyd


5 SNACKS ...

Lays potato chips and Bison onion dip
Bison cottage cheese
Bison (I consumed the sacred White Buffalo last year, which pissed off some Native Americans of a certain age, thus the perpetual rain cloud over my head).
Russell Stover chocolates
Sandwiches. God, how I love sandwiches...Ham and cheese, bologna, tuna, meatball, mayo (yes, you read that right -- Hellmann's mayo on white bread makes me crazy-nuts), sandwiches of every kind. Except liverwurst.


5 THINGS I'D DO WITH $100 MILLION...

Buy a Lamborghini, hire Brad Pitt look-alike to chauffer me
Open safe house for abused women and children
Purchase clothes, toys and assorted luxuries for said women and children (Godiva chocolates, perfume, makeup, at least one piece of fine jewelry for the women, game systems and starter savings accounts (which will go toward college education) for the kids.

5 PLACES I'D RUN AWAY TO...

New York, New York
London, England
Hawaii
Montana
Egypt

5 THINGS I'D NEVER WEAR...

A vest, especially a crocheted one
Birkenstocks
A sweater with holiday appliqués
Feathers
Granny panties

5 BOOKS/TV SHOWS I LOVE

Lost
“Hearts in Atlantis” by Stephen King is but one out of hundreds of favorites. I love anything by Toni Morrison, T.M. Wright, Harlan Ellison, John Irving, Joyce Carol Oates….I could go on and on.
Most Haunted (Travel Channel, Friday night, 9 EST -- I laugh, I cringe. Good stuff)
No Reservations (My boo)
My current read, which I will be posting a review of soonishly, “What Do You Do All Day,” by Amy Scheibe

5 GREATEST JOYS...

My heart, my reason for living: Veronica Starr, Sarah Rose, Ariel Grace, and Brandon Robert
Food
Booze
Writing/publishing something that moves someone -- anyone, no matter if it’s only one person.
Feeling pretty (which, to be frank, ain’t happening all that often lately)


5 FAVORITE TOYS...
My whore, though she’s still slow despite her youth -- I have the worst luck with computers
Um. And that’s about it. I possess very little.

Tag, Peter, you’re it. Only if you want to, of course. But if you truly love me, you will.

And tag to you, Joshie, 'cause I see you're loving the meme lately (and I, in turn, love to read anything you write... with the exception of pooped-up sneakers, that is.) ;-)

4 Comments:

At 2:57 PM, Blogger Cassandra said...

Yay! Someone did it. I sent it to my mom, she said "that means i have to think, i don't know what i did yesterday." That was so cool, thank you.

 
At 10:40 AM, Blogger J. Stephen Reid said...

Done in record time.

 
At 1:57 PM, Blogger k1tchenwitch said...

I've only recently started watching Lost ~ had to run out and rent the whole first season on DVD. I'm officially HOOKED.

And yeah, stay far away from those holiday sweaters and granny panties. yikes.

 
At 9:22 PM, Blogger P.J.Backman said...

As ever, your humble servant.
-Peetah

 

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