Breakfast With the Betty
Burger King's got itself a new mascot, and I for one am very happy to see The King go by the wayside. America most certainly does not need another religious symbol representing our country; especially considering we've alienated ourselves from most other nations due to our odd allegiance to Satan.
It is so refreshing to see a corporation portray themselves in an honest way. It is good and right that America drop her sparkly costume of superiority, her girdle of deceit, to reveal her true nature. Yes, America is great, and she is mighty, but she is also a very fat lady who is tired, hot and cranky these days. And being that she has become something of a strange science fictional hybrid of democratic-corporate rule, I think it fitting, almost endearing, that Burger King's new mascot is a candid confession, a cheeky, self-deprecating acknowledgement designed to soften the image of American ideology in the hopes that the rest of the world will laugh with us, not at us, will once again embrace us for the down-to-earth, delightful folks we really are.
Wouldn’t that just be delicious?