Thursday, October 21, 2004

It's Beverage-Spewing Time!

A few things that made me laugh recently:

1) Pat Robertson, the most wishy-washy hypocrite of all, amuses me to no end. Sure, he‘s got that friendly preacher face and all, but man, oh, man,
What an ambivalent wiener-eater that boy is.

Typical R-R ding-dong who would drink funny-smelling Kool Aid if the current monkey-in-chief told him to (God‘s will, y‘all). Oh, he might protest a bit, maybe whimper for mercy, but he’d drink that shit up, all right.

I, of course, agree with his stance on the current abhorrent mess in Iraq, but see, unlike Robertson’s god, my god is one of wisdom; my god whispers in my ear each night that, for the sake of all mankind, Bush must go. God also once told me, after I’d indulged in an entire bottle of Dom Perignon, that Bush pleasures himself with mayonnaise while reading the “good” parts of the Bible. God is too much of a gentlewoman to go into salacious detail, but I know what she meant by “good“ parts.

2) Triumph the Insult Comic Dog is a brilliant example of perverse, intelligent, raunchy-yet-adorable comedy. I think I peed my pants while watching him roast the post-debate spin doctors on Late Night with Conan O’Brien last night, but I’m not sure as it might’ve just been the beer I spewed all over my bed (which I am wont to do -- see my “Bend Over and Kiss Your Ass Goodbye” entry for August 30) when watching Joe Lockhart throw back his head with genuine, hearty laughter in response to Triumph’s Cheney/puppet quip.

Most of the Demo-doctors appeared to have a fab sense of humor, unlike their Republican counterparts, who, when confronted with the salty-mouthed sock puppet, seemed uncomfortable and put-upon as well as horrified and bordering on brain damaged, yet they grudgingly spoke with Triumph (rambled spin like Reverend Moon disciples) for the apparent fear of the Democrats getting all the camera time (Hey! We have a sense of humor, too!). Well, to be fair, one guy, forget his name, did take Triumph’s poop-slinging with good humor. The one lady, forget her name, by gosh, whom Triumph bid adieu with a casual “Have a safe trip back to Stepford“ looked as if she might shoot him in the face with the AK-47 she legally purchased at Jimmy-Bob’s Gun Show last week. Anyway, funny, funny stuff.

3) Is there anything funnier than Fidel Castro doing classic slapstick? I think not.
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When I saw this clip this morning, I spewed not beer this time, but coffee, and I enjoyed myself immensely. The tan stain on the crotch of my jammy pants will always be there to remind me of that enjoyable time, so I’m not too upset.


At 9:33 AM, Blogger Cassandra said...

I saw that Triumph on Nbc all night just last night! (or the night before , who the hell knows at this point, everything just bleeds together) I about pissed my pants at that remark. That Triumph is one funny doggie. he was the best post debate correspondent I have seen yet. But then again, I dont have cable. I would have loved to see Zell Miller challenge Chris Mathews to a duel, the old fart.


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