#7 in My Series of “Incredibly Bad Poetry by Celebrities or Fictional Characters”
Vodka Does a Body Goodby Vladimir Putin
Comrades! Gather 'round
And I shall regale ye with hilarious tales
Of my adventures, all
True
Listen to me speak, with open mind
and open gullet
For I am not only fantastically masculine
I am wise, and I have much white lightning
In my pants
I rode my steed, dear Joseph
O'er the unforgiving, lady-like terrain of Tuva
With effortless though practiced grace -- observe!
Am I not manly, do I not appeal to your aesthetics?
I frighten myself with my own machismo
And sexual fires
My skills include handling a rod, as well
Note how my forearms are large as briskets!
My tender expression, as I gaze to my left
Reflects the yearning in my breast
For the days of yore
When I was very, very, very handsome
In fashionable, terrifying suits
As I made The People quiver with fear
And, I suspect, lust
I caught many fish, some big, some small
I brought home the sturgeon
Fried it up in a pan
While at the same time
Handling government affairs
Competently
According to state-guided media
The Americans should be so lucky
President Bush, you are a giant potato
That is half baked
Who rides like a woman
And catches no fish
posted by Ms. Lori @ 9:27 AM
4 Comments:
Putin's oddly sexy in that photo. In a pale, boiled fish kind of way.
This made me laugh, hysterically. At work.
And yeah, he's sort of ... not bad at all.
This distresses me.
Yeah, that is incredibly bad poetry.
Jexebel, "...a pale, boiled fish kind of way" indeed. ;-)
Rabbitch, we're both just a couple of beer-chugging albeit intelligent ho-ho heads who are easily intoxicated by the sight of semi-nude, powerful, brutish men.
Do not be distressed -- be proud.
Gerry, good thing he still has his day job, eh?
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