Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Mandrill!

Is that not the weirdest word?

Say it with me...Mandrill.

Again...Mandrill.

Once more, with feeling...MANdrill!

Now take a look at one of the creepiest, most awesomely awesome faces ever:








That, my friends, is a mandrill. Isn't he dreamy?

I met him at the Buffalo zoo this past Sunday, and I love him.

He has a whoopie cushion for a butt, which I happen to think is marvelous:





Hard to make out in that picture, but his whoopie cushion butt is also psychedelic, very aurora borealis, all purple-y and pink and greeny-blue, depending on how the light hits it.

As I said to my kids, upon observing said whoopie cushion butt, "It appears as if he has a balled-up prom dress, circa 1989, attached to his ass."

I believe I spent approximately forty-five minutes just staring at Mandrill, saying asinine things WAY too loudly to Mandrill, much to my husband's chagrin (Manny-poo all mean and scary-looking! You're not mean, are you Manny-poopers? Dear me, but you're a handsome devil! Yes you are! Such a handsome, handsome Manny-poop!).

Lar had to bribe me with pizza in order to get me to leave my Mandrill.

Unfortunately for Lar, the next exhibit featured a darling rhino -- spent a good half hour gawking at Mr. Ronald J. DeRhino:




That's me, Brandon, Sarah, Veronica and Ariel


(I'm the one with the junk in da trunk and wicked-cool platform sandals -- click to enlarge junk).


Lar bribed me with ice cream, then we hit my favorite exhibit of all time:












What gorgeousosity! How regal and fierce and ohmygodso...Oh, I dunno...LionTASTIC!

You would be correct in assuming Lar had to bribe me away yet again, but this time he was forced to pull out the big guns due to my trance-like state and alarming cooing and baby-talking (ooooh, sweet lion! Wookit da sweet manly man! Manly man gots him some pretty bitches, yes he does!) -- BEER.

Catch was, we had to go home to have the beer.

Much as I love animals, I love my beer even more, so away we went.

The end.

Wow, what a lame post this is, huh?

I apologize, but it's ninety-five degrees up here in my windowless, un-airconditioned attic office, and I honestly cannot think straight. I simply can't write in an intelligent manner when my skull is melting.

I realize that the above lament is oft repeated here on OWM, especially when the end of July, beginning of August rolls around, but when I say that it feels as if a giant white candle is sticking out of the top of my head, I mean it.

My head would be the perfect accoutrement for, say, Vincent Price's end table, or Edgar Allan Poe's writing desk.

Okay, now I'm just babbling.

6 Comments:

At 1:02 PM, Anonymous gerry rosser said...

Once I discovered that they have these really cool shows on TV with wild animals, which I can watch in air-conditioned comfort, with all my goodies and liquids to hand, I gave up on sweating my way through zoological parks.
However, if a giraffe or greater kudu walked down the street, I'd step out onto the balcony and look--as long as the ambient temp was under 90.

 
At 8:05 PM, Blogger Granny said...

I'd forgotten Buffalo had a zoo and I've even been there.

My two oldest were born in Buffalo.

I like the mandrills too.

 
At 6:15 PM, Blogger kirby said...

Mandrills certainly have style, do they not?

 
At 11:35 AM, Anonymous gerry rosser said...

I've never had much of a response to words in the way you mention. When I ponder the issue, I guess they pretty much all sound arbitrary, capricious, and one just as good as the next. Also, I've never understood when people say, "Joe, he doesn't look like a Joe." WTF? Nobody looks like a freaking name! Sheesh!

 
At 9:02 AM, Anonymous gerry rosser said...

I haven't been able to get "mandrill" out of my head. It has transmogrified into two words: "man drill." Obviously, this is a reference to the penis. Do mandrills have really big units?

 
At 4:30 PM, Blogger Ms. Lori said...

Ann, this world is wonderfully small world sometimes, isn't it? ;-)

Kirby, most certainly! They smell like hell, though.

Gerry, alas, the dear mandrill did not appear to have a large unit...I wasn't really looking, however.

I shall inspect the goods next time I visit and report back.

 

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