Oh...There's a Forest?
Listen, "the big picture" usually escapes me, but when that picture finally does come into my fuzzy, narrowly focused view, I get a sense of Aw, for Christ's sake! Why didn't I see/hear/notice/realize that before? It can be a good feeling to recognize what that nagging little bird of common sense has been trying to tell me -- the little bird who sits in the tree that grows in that forest I alluded to in the title of this post. A real honest-to-goodness A-HA moment. I like those moments. Sometimes, however, it can be a bad feeling, and that my friend, sucks beyond all sucking to the point of sucklacious suckodomy.So, thanks once again to my little bird of common sense -- the little bird who sits in the tree that grows in that forest -- I finally realized only just now, like thirty minutes ago kind of now, that certain things I have been writing here can be and are read by anybody who wants to. And their Aunt Begonia, too, and Uncle Kip, and Grandma Clackdogger, and Cousin Twirly (so nicknamed for her moonlighting position at The Pink Pussy), and...Well, you get my drift, yeah?
I've deleted all entries that I don't wish Cousin Twirly, or Donald Trump, or that creepy guy on the corner of Mother Mary Way and 9th who always leers at you when you walk to Starbucks for your usual double latte with cheese, or...Again, you get it, I'm sure.
I have saved the posts and all of your comments for my own personal eyeballism, because those comments of yours made me smile, laugh, feel gooey inside, and made me cry, too. You don't know how much it means to me that you, my awesome, awesome friends, understand and support me during this very weird and wild ride. Sad as this may sound (and I really don't mean it to be), this blog has been my only structured emotional outlet, one of my few connections to those confusing, frightening, wonderful things called human beings...
It still will be. But I've got to keep that forest in my view, got to remember what that little bird told me. However, even though I may not post overly personal details here, I will continue to do so over at MySpace, because MySpace has a lovely privacy function that allows me to set posts to "Friends Only." Blogger is not able to give me that option, so...
Oh, shut the hell up, bird. I heard you the first time. Freaking nag.
posted by Ms. Lori @ 6:45 PM
5 Comments:
I had a similar deletion desire, and shifted my entire blog: http://survivingtheworkday.blogspot.com so I can be anonymous! xo - Stephanie
I feel your pain... It sucks having to censor yourself...
I guess I'm fortunate to have a blog read by about 3 people....
I hope you will at least allude to the deleted entries, by letting us know in general terms 'how you're doin' with the issues? I've only been lurking for a few weeks but I do care.
I am on my third blog (I think) because I felt some were getting too close. The blog I have now has been structured to allow me to hide behind the fence.
If I destroy the present blog, I know that I will never start up again.
So I try to keep a bit of distance between me and the readers, especially those who have touched me with their story.
The reason I visit your blog is because I appreciate the talented mind that rages at the machine. That said, I will always respect your space.
At least you had the courage to let 'er rip for a long time--and I hope that continues, even if ameliorated by concern for others.
My internal censor seems to be the boss of my life most of the time. I don't eat white bread, but I certainly feel like I am white bread a lot of the time.
On a happier note, I'm having fun with photography lately.
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