Monday, May 08, 2006

Quasimodo Called, and He Wants His Face Back

Well, goodness. Guess what I did on Saturday? That’s right! Hurt my eye so badly, I cannot see out of it, nor stand the pain for one more minute. Seriously. this is bad. It’s now completely closed, puffed up and purple like Mike Tyson gave it all he had, and feels like a tiny electrified squirrel is frantically foraging for nuts within my pupil. Bastard squirrel!

I was playing with my son, and during his laughing fit, he accidentally poked his whole hand into my eye. Unfortunately, I think it went straight to my brain. I saw stars, I felt the universe close up around me, heard nothing but the silence of space, and then I think I passed out for a few seconds.

I haven’t slept a wink since (heh). Tried everything from bathing my eye with saline solution to applying cold compresses, and really, I see no relief unless I take a sterilized spoon and dig my fucking eyeball out of its socket.

Well, that’ll teach me not to nibble on my boy’s pizza dough-like thighs, tempting as they may be.

Anyway, I’ll probably not be posting for the next couple of days. If you don’t hear from me within the next week, then you’ll know I’m swinging from a bell tower somewhere in France. Au revoir!


At 4:23 AM, Blogger Granny said...

Take care of yourself. Doctor perhaps?

At 7:51 AM, Blogger Myfanwy Collins said...

OUCH!!! Sorry, Ms. Lori. Hope you are feeling better soon.

At 9:07 AM, Blogger David Niall Wilson said...

A mother was boxing her son,
Whose had his small hand set on stun
He hit her poor eye
So she thought she might die
And then raising his hands, said I WON!

Sorry Lori..couldn't resist. HOpe you're feeling better...


At 9:22 AM, Blogger leenie71689 said...

Geesh! That sounds painful! Take care of yourself...I don't know what I will do if you don't write for a few days! Feel better soon Cuppie. XXOOE

At 10:42 AM, Blogger Katie said...

ow!!! That sounds horrific. Poor you. I hope you feel better soon. xo Katie

At 1:33 PM, Blogger Alena said...

Owwwww.... :( I really hope your eye feels better!

At 1:40 PM, Blogger Redneck Nerdboy! said...

Not to laugh at your pain but "...feels like a tiny electrified squirrel is frantically foraging for nuts within my pupil. Bastard squirrel!" forced me to laugh for five full minutes without pausing!

I hope you get better quick!

At 3:14 PM, Blogger Alexis said...

Oh my gosh - Ms. Lori feel better soon. xxxx

At 1:53 AM, Blogger J. Stephen Reid said...

Aye Carumba!

Get well soon!

At 5:33 PM, Blogger Cassandra said...

chubby boy thighs are tepting to bite. I will keep in mind the "lesson of Ms. Lori" next time I feel the urge.

Hope your eye gets better soon, Quasi.

At 1:00 AM, Blogger G-Man said...

You can play tennis, soccer, baseball, hockey and football; but you can't play boxing.
Get to the eye doctor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

At 8:53 AM, Blogger Justice said...

Oohhh, I hate it when that happens! I hope you are better!

At 11:46 AM, Blogger Alice said...

Oooch! I got hit by a basket ball in eye once (see my post about my Apple-computer-like brain run by a guy called Ned) and by golly did it bloody hurt. You have my complete sympathy.

My only advise for you however is to whip yourself up to A &E and see if they can provide you with any killer pain relief.

That or some pot.

Pot would be good.

It'd still hurt like hell.

But see, then you wouldn't care.


Alice xxx

PS: If I ever meet that Bastard squirrel I'll beat the crap out of it for you. How's that?

At 1:56 PM, Blogger RobinSlick said...

Aw, Julie did that to her dad when she was 4 years old and he ended up at Wills Eye Hospital's emergency room with a scratched cornea...he even had to wear an eye patch which made Julie scream every time she saw him cos' she was convinced she turned him into a pirate and there was no convincing her otherwise. Then she kept checking his hands to make sure they didn't turn into hooks.

Feel better, Ms. Lori! Sorry I won't be in Rochester tonight, damn it. Maybe next time 'round.


At 5:12 PM, Blogger Ms. Lori said...

Thanks, everyone, for your kind concern. I'm feeling MUCH better, though my eye is still a bit swollen and blurry. But MUCH better, oh hell yeah.

What a nightmare.

Robin, hope you can make it to Rochester another time. Ah, fate...


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