Friday, April 22, 2005

And She Shall Make Her Presence Known

I apologize for my absence -- I was, of course, busy genuflecting before the Mother of Salt Stains, who made her presence known earlier this week in a Chicago underpass.
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(click to enlarge salty virgin)

It was the most beautiful experience of my life, better even than my pilgrimage to the Holy Toasted Cheese Sandwich last year.

As you can probably tell, I am lying. How whimsical of me!

Actually, as usual, my computer was up to her old slutty tricks this week, and I once again fell victim to her evil ways. This time, however, it was bad, couldn’t use her, nothing worked, even my DSL decided to flee the scene for a couple days. Odd.

So after trying to reformat and reformat and reformat for days, enlisting the help of my next door neighbor, Mark the Magic Fireman, screaming at Frontiernet's obnoxious little helper, Ian, drinking many beers, reformatting again, my whore finally closed her legs, got up off her hairy back, and is once again earning her keep.

Such is the life of an hp Pavilion mx50 dweller. Alas, alas…


At 10:44 AM, Blogger keef said...

Dang. Your computer got more problems than a Hitler Youth trying to be Pope. Oh, wait, maybe that wasn't the best analogy.

I would personally recommend waiting until Tiger comes out for le Mac, and then buying yourself a low-end mac mini. You can use your old monitor, mouse, and keyboard, and drop less than five hundred bones on a pretty nice machine that will do your bidding and not be a hooer for myriad virii and spywarez.

Plus, there's an iStore that is more than happy to provide credit and easy repayment options. As soon as I move to Austin, this is what I am going to do.

At 7:51 PM, Blogger Ms. Lori said...

Might be the way to go, I think. Could be a while before I'm able to swing dat tang, though.

I'm so poor, I should be living in a van down by the river.

At 11:41 AM, Blogger bevjackson said...

Just keep telling all know relatives and friends that a new computer is your whole reason for living. Say it over and over and over like a mantra out loud in their ear. Someone will buy you one to shut you up. Good luck. You are too funny to be sans computer.

At 10:54 AM, Blogger Alexis said...

Ms. Lori, There's always room in my van. I'm so poor it's in the river. . . xxx
Living in a van down in the river Lex

At 10:03 AM, Blogger G-Man said...

I have developed an umbilical cord that connects directly to my pc. It feeds me. I do hope yours is feeling better soon.

At 10:22 AM, Blogger Ms. Lori said...

Aw, thanks. Bev!

Alexis, if you've got beers in that van, I'm so there.

G-Man, thanks for the kind wishes. Ew. Umbilical cord? ;-)

At 4:12 PM, Blogger Tom Carter said... do we know she's a virgin, anyway?

At 4:46 PM, Blogger Ms. Lori said...

Because the Bible TELLS us so, sillyhead!


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