Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Proof That the Burger King May in Fact Be Jesus

Found this by accident yesterday (someone on Brian Keene’s board posted the link).

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us
(Click to enlarge your lord and master.)

So, see there? When I stated in my “The Woman Who Loved Cat Dancing” post that I swore I saw Jesus, a being remarkably similar in appearance to the King, I wasn’t lying.

BOW DOWN BEFORE THE ONE YOU… er… WHO SERVES YOU.

In unrelated yet equally amusing (to me, at least) news, while watching Good Morning America today with my husband and my son, Mr. Butler, there was a report on breast implants, complete with the obligatory footage of doctors fondling large sacks of silicone. So my boy, who'd been busy playing with his Albert Einstein Theory of Relativity Colorforms set, became quite interested during the sack fondling, and said, "Oooh, Mommy! Are those special bags? I like those squishy things. Can I have them?"

And Lar says, "Son, I’m confident that in a few years you'll have all the squishy bags you could ever wish for."

HELP ME, BURGER KING! Amen.

11 Comments:

At 10:12 AM, Blogger keef said...

That made me giggle like a little girl. Thank you, Ms. Lori.

 
At 11:45 AM, Blogger Katie said...

Awww!

 
At 4:54 PM, Blogger Rotting Dead said...

I thought that Burger King mascot was creepy the first time I saw it. It may have had something to do with the fact that the tagline was "Have Breakfast with The King" and that guy in the commercial looked damned uncomfortable with that guy in his bed.

Now I find out he is God?

Forgive me lord of burgers, for I have sinned. Yay I have verily fallen short of worthy to purchase and attempt to consume The Enormous Omelet Sandwich, all 730 calories of it, which debuted this past Monday at your temples across America.

Amen

 
At 6:24 PM, Blogger W. Olivia said...

*dies* Gods knows I needed that laugh, darlin'!

 
At 6:53 PM, Blogger windreader said...

are you certain that you are not confusing him with the antichrist? not that I, as a Pagan Jew believe in any of that.....

 
At 7:15 PM, Blogger Alexis said...

To the tune of Bow Down by Westside connection

"Bow down when you come to my town,
Bow down when you're Burger King bound,
Bow Down, 'cause I ain't a hater like you,
Bow down to a burger that's greater than you."

 
At 7:17 PM, Blogger Ms. Lori said...

Coooome and get it!

Your SALVATION, that is.

Thanks for smiling with me, guys.

Yes, Alan, The King is Satan, but he enjoys dressing up as a kingly fast-food Christ-like figure in order to get close to the average fat-assed and damned American soul.

 
At 7:20 PM, Blogger Ms. Lori said...

Alexis, my sister, that is so...beautiful.

 
At 6:55 PM, Blogger ms ralph said...

The only thing that throws off the Burger King is Jesus theory is that Burger King has the motto, "where you can have it your way." And Jesus has the motto, "my way or to hell with you!"

:)

 
At 11:15 PM, Blogger Ms. Lori said...

Ah, Ms. Ralph, the Dark Father entices with LIES!

 
At 9:11 AM, Blogger SJ said...

The headline to this post will have me laughing all day long. Seriously. Thanks for that. (and the link. I'll do the same.)

 

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