Sunday, October 24, 2004

A Buttful of Blogs!

So I joined this thing the other day, and true to its promise, I have received many new visitors here at OWM -- thing is, most of those visitors are just passing acquaintances, not long term lovers. Get what I'm saying? They surf out as quickly as they surf in, and really, I'm glad of this -- based on the blogs I've visited thus far, I'd estimate 80% of those who leave quickly are:
A) Religious-faaaar-right Republicans.
B) Sixteen year olds hankering for some boobies.
C) Old ladies hankering for some knitting talk.
D) Old men hankering for some boobies.
E) African-Americans who believe the Democratic party is akin to the KKK.(???!!!)
F) Young ladies hankering for some knitting talk.
G) Overwhelmed stay-at-home mommies hankering for some X (I kid).
H) Named Billy-Jack or Susie-Peggy -- and they like their guns, garsh durnit.
I) Incredibly intelligent boys from India who write astonishingly well, but love their aunties way too much.
J) Witches.
K) Poets who write astonishingly bad poetry.
L) Dog people (nothing wrong with dogs, but I can do without the blogs written in "dog voice").
M) Fiction writers who write astonishingly bad fiction.
N) Astonishingly bad writers.
0) Astonished people.
P) Crafty folk. Like dried flowers and hot glue gun crafty folk. Or empty milk jug and tin can crafty folk. Make angels out of old pantyhose crafty folk. Dreamcatchers out of old chicken bones crafty folk.
Q) Anti-feminists.
R) Girls who believe themselves possessed of the darkest soul on earth.
S) Proud owners of...whatever. They are very, very, very proud, and their blogs reflect that.
T) Boys who believe themselves possessed of the most tender soul on earth.
U) Grown women who are disturbingly little-girlish -- their blog skins are always pink and sparkly, like their lips.
V) Grown men who collect McDonald's Happy Meal toys.
W) White, wealthy, male, and apparently so.
X) Lollies, as in "LOL" people. They laugh and laugh and laugh, and they must die.
Y) Science Fiction geeks who believe William Shatner is their real father.
Z) Cereal eaters who watch the weather, as in "Today I ate some Cheerios while I watched the rain plonk against my kitchen window." Or “Yesterday was fun. I ate a bowl of Corn Flakes -- with sugar! -- while I watched the snow drift down from heaven.”

Amen.

But, despite all of that, I have discovered quite a few interesting, engaging, delicious, naughty, bold, intelligent blogs, so I guess this isn’t such a bad thing after all.

11 Comments:

At 10:55 PM, Blogger Bad Penny said...

Don't forget MY amazing and inciteful, witty, heartfelt and knitting-free blog filled with rant, rave and photos of my feet...

 
At 8:33 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

yikes, well I guess L/ is aimed at me, oh well... fair call I suppose.

Sam

 
At 10:53 AM, Blogger Ms. Lori said...

Honey, "L" is definitely not targeted at your blog. You're the Australian FLY GUY! And I love it.

Which reminds me, I've got to add you to my blogroll a.s.a.p.

 
At 1:42 PM, Blogger Nick James said...

You missed my blog-type- Appalling comics.

 
At 2:35 PM, Blogger Michele said...

Very funny. I was reading the list and nodding in agreement until I thought wait a damn moment (or perhaps 30 LONG seconds), which letter am I?

So, I read the list again. May I buy a vowel for my blog? Please!

Ohh, I love your site.

 
At 3:18 PM, Blogger Ms. Lori said...

Nick, I love appalling. Will check out your site soonish.

Michele, my Canadian belle, you're not on my ABC list of shame because you DON'T SUCK. ;-)

 
At 11:14 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Frankly you're not liberal enough for me. Call them Rethuglicans or Repugs but 'Republicans'? c'mon you are as bad a as they are. Facsist sympathiser. You're probably not really gay either are you? Poseur.

 
At 11:36 AM, Blogger Miss Chin said...

I am from BE, and I didn't just fly by! Great site!

 
At 5:56 PM, Blogger Mamacita said...

I don't knit. My kids no longer sit in my lap and hug me. However, my boobs do. Does that count?

 
At 9:08 AM, Blogger Cassandra said...

i guess i fall under the letter g, i think do i want some x? i'd settle for a bonghit.

 
At 1:55 AM, Blogger Shelly said...

Well, I have traces of a few of those and I did surf in via Blog Explosion, but I like your blog and added it to my Bloglines subs, so there. :) (I hope smilies are okay. I don't usually lol, tho.)

 

Post a Comment

<< Home