Ancient-Speak
I had the most delightful conversation of the semantical kind with my middle daughter, Sarah, and my mother's friend, "J" (the one who is classy and beautiful, but swears like a grizzled sea merchant) tonight. It went something like this:Telephone: Ring Ring
Me: Hello?
"J" the Grizzled Sea Merchant: Hey.
Me: Hey!
"J" the Grizzled Sea Merchant: So, I'm going to be in town Saturday morning, will call when I get settled.
Me: 'Kay.
[Delete unimportant chitchat and personal doodads]
"J" the Grizzled Sea Merchant: Gawd, remember how thin I was? Gawdjesus, fucking hell, now I'm a goddamned dirigible!
Me: Did you just say, "dirigible"?
"J" the Grizzled Sea Merchant: Yeah, you know, a blimp?
Me: I know that! It's just that I'm a bit stunned that you used the word "dirigible." I mean, how old are you, really? Ninety-seven?
"J" the Grizzled Sea Merchant" [sputtering] Wha...? [laughs] C'mon, what's wrong with "dirigible"?
Me: Dude, if you have to ask, then it's pointless for me to carry on this line of conversation.
After I hung up, my daughter, who'd been listening, asked why I was laughing so hard, and when I explained to her that "J" was using Ancient-Speak, and with NO SHAME WHATSOEVER, she said, "Ooooh! I get it! It's like when Great Grandma Spinelli says 'Davenport' instead of 'couch,' right?"
We then proceeded to roll about the place laughing hysterically at the many examples of Ancient-Speak that have been foisted upon our modern ears by various teachers, grandparents, and an assortment of curmudgeonly neighbors, words such as:
Icebox (Ancient-Speak for refrigerator)
Duvet (Ancient-Speak for comforter)
Post (Ancient-Speak for mail, as in "I'm going to put the letter in the post before three shakes of a lamb's tail!"
Parlor (Ancient-Speak for living room)
Land Sakes! (Ancient-Speak pertaining to great surprise or disappointment)
And on it went, until we both wept copious tears of pure, word-related joy.
Jeepers, how I love the English language!
posted by Ms. Lori @ 10:43 PM
6 Comments:
Hey, don't you mean "we fell about the place"?
She coulda said "Zeppelin."
I love the English language!
ARGH! Of course -- ZEPPELIN!
That's even better, Gerry. Much more Ancient-y.
Love, love, love it.
I think I'd just go with "Zep."
Loved your post! It was the bee's knees!
Nancy aka
Fuzzarelly
(as google has decided not to know who I am. after all these years!)(bastard)
Nancy, you are one cool cat.
Ancientspeak should be used without shame, so long as you're not all pretentious about it like some DeviantArt goth poetry twat (I know you're not, but I joined DeviantArt recently and just looking at previews of some of the poetry made my eardrums bubble). I freely mix victorian insults with shitty grammar and god-damn slang and fucking swearing. It's fun.
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