Friday, February 22, 2008

American Idol Judges Are Embarrassing

Truly cringe-worthy.

So the other night, while watching American Idol with my girls, one of the female contestants induced mass hysteria and projectile vomiting while she crucified the 1961 hit "Where the Boys Are." That was bad enough. But then Randy Jackson had to be all doggy and shit and tell the woman that she can't compare to Patsy Cline, or something along those lines. I can't even remember what he said well enough to paraphrase comfortably due to my forehead exploding when he said "Patsy Cline."

Anyone with a brain larger than Simon's left titty would know that Connie Francis sang "Where the Boys Are."

Dog. Oh, dog, dog, dog, DOGGY dog!

What's going on, dude. Seriously, I'm like, WHAT? How's it going, man. WHAT? Hey, how you feelin' dog-a-dog-a-lamby lamb, huh? Feeling good?

WHAT? How's my dog, dog?

I just had to get this off my chest, dogs. Like, man, I really, really, man-oh-man, like, really, really had to shake this bad mojo swingin' 'gainst my groove, y'all.

But then Simon had to go and embarrass himself, too, by interjecting a painfully ignorant, and utterly beautiful "yes, that song must have a bit of a twang," which I assumed meant that he, too, believed Patsy sung "Where the Boys Are."

To my knowledge, the wonderful Ms. Francis never employed a twang in any of her songs. I know this to be fact. I am Connie Francis' biggest fan. Used to take my mom's old 45s, especially "Lipstick on Your Collar" and "Where the Boys Are," and sit in my bedroom listening to them over and over. And over. While staring at pictures of Connie.

I was all of seven years old.

When I finally got to see the movie "Where the Boys Are," sometime around age ten or so, I was riveted -- RIVETED, I say -- to the television screen.

Say what you will about a weird little girl with four-inch-thick glasses who was obsessed with Connie Francis, a pop star whose fame rose well before the creepy little girl had even been born, but I'll have you know that that little creep with four-inch-thick glasses would not have embarrassed herself on national television by confusing two of America's greatest female singers of all time.

9 Comments:

At 1:04 PM, OpenID twoblueday said...

I never watch American Idol. I do not care who Paula Abdul shtups.

It does not surprise me they didn't know Connie Francis was the original butcher of the execrable song "Where the Boys Are."

 
At 2:24 PM, Blogger Ms. Lori said...

Jesus Christ, Gerry, who tossed cow patties in your corn flakes today?

Fine if you don't like AI -- I do like it, because it's one of the few shows on television I can watch with *all* of my kids and have a good time -- but I think it was terribly rude of you to insult someone I'm very fond of.

 
At 9:13 AM, OpenID twoblueday said...

Paula Abdul or Connie Francis?

 
At 4:13 PM, Anonymous lisa said...

i miss you lori. please post soon.

 
At 9:24 AM, Blogger Ms. Lori said...

Gerry, stuff it up yer bunghole. ;-)

Lisa, are you *my* Lisa from Macedon? If not, I still love you for missing me. ***warm glow***

 
At 2:41 PM, Anonymous aphid said...

Fuckin' 'Merica 'Nidol. I've never watched it but I have got that impression before, that the judges are asshats. It's always kind of frustrating when you mostly like a show, but then one aspect of it irritates the hell out of you.

 
At 8:39 PM, Blogger Hale McKay said...

I never wish to rain on anyone's parade, but I'll make an exception if only to forward a little info your way.

My sister had a demo 45 which was cut in 1958 - two years before "Where The Boys Are" was released by Connie Francis.

The artist was in fact, Patsy Cline. I don't know (probably not) if it was ever released commercially, but she did sing the song written by a couple of fledgling song writers (Howard Greenfield and Neil Sedaka) before Connie Francis turned it into a monster hit.

My sister always liked Patsy's demo version better than Connie's recording. I can't say, as I don't really remember how it sounded and most demos are produced in poor quality.

I can't say that Randy Jackson knew this obscure info or not or if it was just a "stupid" moment.

Things like this were not uncommon in the early Rock'n Roll recording days and well into the '60s as many artists made demos of would-be song writers' songs. Most of these were never recorded.

I have a demo copy of "Love Me Tender" sung by a struggling young man by the name of Regis Philbin before he was discovered by Jack Paar for the talk show circuit. It was cut the year before Elvis Presley recorded it. THe rest is history.

And Liza Minelli recorded "New York, New York" before Frank Sinatra made it HIS song.

I hope this info is useful and enlightening for you.

 
At 10:24 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hale...The Patsy recording demo of Where The Boys Are is impossible as Neil, et. al. wrote it specifically for Connie for her movie of the same name in 1960/61. The song did not exist prior to that.

 
At 11:06 PM, Blogger Sakvatore said...

Yes. The song Where The Boys Are did not exist prior to Connie's recording as it was written for her for her movie of the same name. It is often considered to be the most perrfedct vocals ever recorded. she recorded several verions of the song.

 

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