One Whipped Mother

It's Meme Time!

What country intrigues you the most and why?
Australia. My God, they have kangaroos! And I want to watch water go down the drain clockwise.-- I would probably spend many, many hours in the bathroom while I pet my joey and drink Fosters.

Which celebrity are you ashamed of being attracted to?
Leonard Nimoy, Howard Stern

What names do you call your pets that you wouldn’t want others to hear you utter?
Fat-ass, catty-cat, bitch, purry-pants

Are there words or commonly used phrases that you’re positive you invented?
La-la land, unibrow, warm and fuzzy

Which person of the same sex would you not hesitate to jump in the sack with?
Charlize Theron

Which animal frightens you the most?
Earwigs, hyenas

What foods do you eat mass quantities of when feeling down?
Chocolate, pastina (lots of butter and egg in there, baby), Cheetos (must be Crunchy Cheetos , not the powder-covered air type), Ricotta cheese on Italian bread, mushroom soup topped with those little oyster crackers

The last time you were so embarrassed you thought you would die -- details, please.
Many years ago I bought a wig due to the fact that I had a court date (stupid criminal mischief thing), and I thought it best to hide my Mohawk. First impressions and all that. So my mother picks me up from the courthouse, my little brothers in tow, and we stop at a convenience store on the way home. While my brothers and I wait in the car, I notice a van full of preppie hotties checking me out.. I flirt, play coy and all that, which must’ve excited one of the guys to no end because he decides it would be nice to come on over and introduce himself. As he was walking over, one of my brothers screams, “Ms. Lori! There’s a bug in your wig!” And he proceeds to pull the bug out of my wig, taking the wig along with it. Out pops my springy, pink foot-high Mohawk.

How to explain the look of horror that came across the hottie’s once handsome face? I can’t. Suffice to say, hottie ran back to the van shaking and weeping with fear as I slid to the floorboards and cringed at the sound of a van full of laughing -- screaming-laughing -- boys. I think I did die just a little that day.

Who is Satan?
Ann Coulter

Which song makes you teary-eyed every time?
Fast Car by Tracy Chapman, Love Hurts by Nazareth, Vincent by Don McLean, Mercy Street by Peter Gabriel

If you were being forced at gunpoint to eat either an entire raw chicken or cooked pig’s head, which would you chow?
Easy -- Pig’s head. Salmonella ain’t pretty.

Cruel nicknames bestowed upon you during your school years?
Four-eyes; How, Ms. Lori! (my maiden name is Howe); Casper; freak; that weird girl

Current favorite guilty pleasure?
Victoria Gotti‘s Growing Up Gotti. She’s fabulous.

posted by Ms. Lori @ 6:52 AM