Tuesday, February 01, 2005

God, I Know That You're Busy and All, But I Could Really Use a New Vacuum Cleaner. Thank You and Amen.

Okay, what’s the deal with the sudden influx of folks coming to One Whipped Mother looking for information on Cybill Shepherd? Please, I beg you -- TELL ME WHY! Surely your visit here has been a major waste of time, but I’m curious as all get out, especially because most of you are from California and Texas.

Is she some kind of cult figure in California?

Has she recently been crowned Queen of Texas?

Is she up for an award?

Is she starring in a new movie or television production? A play?

Granted, Ms. Shepherd is a lovely, talented woman, but I’m guessing that it’s been years since she's received this kind of interest. So what up, yo?

Hmmm. In other news. I received my contributor’s copy of Brutarian Quarterly #43 yesterday. No checky-wecky (darn it, I’ll have to wait yet another excruciating, dusty length of time for a new vacuum cleaner-- an innocent oversight, I‘m sure), but it was a pleasant surprise nonetheless, considering I hadn’t expected my story to appear until March. Now I’m forced to revise the bibliography page on my website, which, truth be known, terrifies and nauseates me.

I’m sickeningly inadequate in all things webby. Go ahead and see for yourself if you don’t believe me. My Links page is still a broken piece of embarrassing shit, among other atrocities..

Where the hell was I? Oh, yes, my story. It is, quite simply, a divine thing to behold.

I’ll post purchasing info soon as it’s available (I know that Tower Records sells it, but the Brutarian website is still down, and I‘m not sure if it‘s yet available for order from various online booksellers), ‘cause, you know, I’m positive there are thousands, if not millions of you out there chomping at the bit to read my latest offering, yeah?


At 12:55 PM, Blogger Jexebel said...

While I pine away at the lack of your recent writing, my poverty has become even more abject recently. My apologies, as it will be a bit before I can buy anything more entertaining than food and toiletries

At 2:51 PM, Blogger Ms. Lori said...

Jexebel, I sympathize with your poverty, therefore, if you truly are pining for my latest story (as well you SHOULD be -- this is Ms. Lori we're talking about here), please contact me via the e-address in my profile. I wanted to send you an e-mail, but I see that you have none listed.

At 2:54 PM, Blogger Ms. Lori said...

Goodness. Of course I don't mean that I sympathize with your poverty -- I hate poverty. It should die a horrible death. I do, however, sympathize with you regarding your poverty.

At 3:00 PM, Blogger Chief Wannahockaloogy said...

Could you tell me what Cybill Shepherd's real name is? Kay, thanks.

At 3:04 PM, Blogger Blog ho said...

Were you a paid screamer?

At 6:43 PM, Blogger ms ralph said...

No, she did it just for the fun of it! ;) And of course I am here just to get in on the action, no Cybill for me.

At 11:25 PM, Blogger Rotting Dead said...

Cybill who? *L*

Congrats on getting your story published, after checking out your website I see there are a number of things you have done. Inspiring!

At 9:42 PM, Blogger W. Olivia said...

Yay on the story, love! I can't wait to read it! Send me purchasing info as soon as it's available so I can add it to the altar I've erected in your name, filled with your works, babe!

I'd toast you with a beer, but I don't have any...gotta rectify that soon...

At 9:20 AM, Blogger Ms. Lori said...

Don't forget to light the candles, O. My shrine should always be illuminated by candles -- red ones.

Love you, hon. Let's get drunk soon. Like, I duuno, on the 12th?

At 10:13 PM, Blogger W. Olivia said...

I'll be there, six pack in hand, doll!


Post a Comment

<< Home