Thursday, January 13, 2005

I Am a Cannibalistic Sea Hag Swimming in an Ocean of Shit

I'm not a happy hag.

This may well be my last post for some time -- depends on whether I can get my damn modem working again. Started to crap out on me yesterday, which, coupled with my already slow dialup service and whore of a computer, makes my online experience comparable to a twelve hour-long enema.

But while I'm here (inexplicably, my modem has allowed me this time with you -- been trying since 8:30 this morning, but I'm here), I'll leave you with this grotesque thought: If you eat seafood, please keep in mind that many sea creatures of which you partake also partake of you. Well, not you you, but human remains. This, I realize, is a sick, disgusting statement to make. I'm appalled at myself for even making my morbid thoughts publicly known. But it's true, you know. Sea creatures think they've hit the jackpot when they come across a floater, and will immediately consume as much as their little bellies will handle. Crabs do it, flounder do it, tuna and swordfish and sweet little clownfish do it. Yes, Nemo will eat your ass up in a New York minute.

If you eat seafood, then it stands to reason that you are, indirectly, a cannibal.

This gruesome and decidedly inappropriate thought has been brought to you courtesy of Ms. Lori's Sick Thoughts.

9 Comments:

At 3:18 PM, Blogger Jexebel said...

If it helps, when my plane home was experencing severe bumpies due to a storm I looked down onto a city below us and thought "At least we'll squish other people if we crash"

 
At 7:14 PM, Blogger P.J.Backman said...

Aw, darling... The Tech Trolls aren't giving you much of a break, are they? I hope it gets better out in your little corner of the interweb. :)

 
At 10:19 AM, Blogger mhe said...

That's how they find missing divers. They find the cave with the highest concentration of shrimp. I'll eat the hell out of some shrimp though!

 
At 5:14 PM, Blogger ms ralph said...

I for one hope it won't be too long before we get a new post.

 
At 6:35 PM, Blogger honestyrain said...

yet another reason i am glad i am a vegetarian: it means i am also not a cannibal.

horrah.

 
At 8:41 AM, Blogger Tom Carter said...

And this from someone with a propensity for nibbling small animals! Shame!

And by the way, remember that the food chain is not linear, it's circular! (exit madly laughing)

 
At 4:21 PM, Blogger Alexis said...

Ms. Lori - come back!!!!!! sob, sob. . .

 
At 7:58 PM, Blogger Tom Carter said...

OK...if you really mean it. But Cat is staying under the bed.

 
At 11:55 PM, Blogger keef said...

Yeah, that's fine and all, but you're MY cannibalistic sea hag swimming in an ocean of shit.

I personally love crawfish, and they live and swim in doo-doo.

I hope you aren't having too much trouble with your internet connection.

 

Post a Comment

<< Home