Hey, Haters -- A Little Black Magic to Ruin Your DayJust a quick note to those who hate my blog. I‘ve been silent for far too long:
I’m hurt. Full of sorrow. And because you gaggle of no-talent, boring, cheesy loons make yourselves feel better by stomping on my little princess, I hate you more than you hate me.
So, as a show of reciprocal hatred, my way of getting back at you for dinging me with abysmal ratings, I will now throw some voodoo your way.
May God have mercy on your souls.
(My blog, for those who aren’t aware, is possessed of supernatural powers; whenever I wish for something, it’s generally granted within the week.)
My wish begins....
I sincerely wish that Patti LaBelle, wearing nothing but a chiffon negligee, wakes you at 5:00 a.m. on New Years Day by shrieking her rendition of “Over the Rainbow” outside your bedroom window. I also hope that she bursts into your home wielding a dirty frying pan, some past-due date sausage and old, old eggs, and insists on making you breakfast. I hope she ties you to your kitchen table and forces you at forkpoint to eat every last morsel, then accompanies you to the toilet and belts out “Lady Marmalade” as you vomit.