Wednesday, December 29, 2004

Hey, Haters -- A Little Black Magic to Ruin Your Day

Just a quick note to those who hate my blog. I‘ve been silent for far too long:

I’m hurt. Full of sorrow. And because you gaggle of no-talent, boring, cheesy loons make yourselves feel better by stomping on my little princess, I hate you more than you hate me.

So, as a show of reciprocal hatred, my way of getting back at you for dinging me with abysmal ratings, I will now throw some voodoo your way.

May God have mercy on your souls.

(My blog, for those who aren’t aware, is possessed of supernatural powers; whenever I wish for something, it’s generally granted within the week.)

My wish begins....

1

2

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NOW!

I sincerely wish that Patti LaBelle, wearing nothing but a chiffon negligee, wakes you at 5:00 a.m. on New Years Day by shrieking her rendition of “Over the Rainbow” outside your bedroom window. I also hope that she bursts into your home wielding a dirty frying pan, some past-due date sausage and old, old eggs, and insists on making you breakfast. I hope she ties you to your kitchen table and forces you at forkpoint to eat every last morsel, then accompanies you to the toilet and belts out “Lady Marmalade” as you vomit.

Cheers!

8 Comments:

At 12:35 PM, Blogger Angie said...

awwwwwwwww I'm sorry someone is giving you trouble! Just know that there are some that do enjoy your blog. :)

 
At 12:37 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Danny Wegman! Danny Wegman! not to fear Ms. Lori - when I return from Londontown I can help you strengthen that wish mojo with some good ole fashioned Wicca craft. you betty boweresque blogexplosion folks will more than shake in your boots! bwa-ha-ha!

windreader

 
At 1:43 PM, Blogger Ms. Lori said...

Thanks, sweet Angie. I know, and I LOVE the fine and sexy folks who choose to waste some time here. They all rock extremely hard.

Speaking of rocking hard -- DANNY WEGMAN! LOL! (I really did laugh out loud, Alan.) Have a safe trip back from jolly olde, honey -- I'm eager to read all about it!

 
At 3:40 PM, Blogger Eric said...

hahahaha!!!
Oh this is a great post. I rather enjoyed it!
Keep up the great blogging

 
At 6:15 PM, Blogger Tom Carter said...

I'm SO thankful I never criticized your blog! I love it, really, I do! And Cat loves it even more than I do! It's going to take me a few hours to get him out from under the bed...he's afraid you're going to curse him, too...or worse.

 
At 12:03 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Erm... what do we get if we *like* your blog? :-)

~MJ (http://ilmomof3.diaryland.com)

 
At 12:06 AM, Blogger Rotting Dead said...

You Rock! Of course you probably already know that. I was browsing blogs and upon reading a few of your posts, I knew that I had discovered a true talent. Stop and visit me if you like and perhaps we can exchange a bit of some-what meaningful dialogue in 2005.

Have a great new year's eve celebration.

CJ

 
At 6:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I, too, have has my blog's ass pummeled like 'Bring a New Fish to Prison' Day at the State Pennitentiary.

But my revenge is to drunk and start posting drunken haikus in retaliation. ;)

You rock the Kasbah, girl. Fugg'em if they can't take a blog.

-PeterB.

 

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