One Whipped Mother

Big Scaredy Baby Who Does Not Wish to Write About Koko's Nipple Fetish

Saw The Grudge last night. Horrible. HORRIBLY CREEPY, I mean!

Japanese cat-boy emitting mewling Hell-sounds...farting dead woman with glowing eyes and pronounced limp...Sarah Michelle Gellar discovering curious genitalia on the back of her head whilst showering...

Pure horror magic. I love it.

The bad part, though: Lar finds it amusing that even though I enjoy writing horror, I'm a big scaredy baby when it comes to horror movies. So last night, after the flick ended, I head on in to the bathroom -- all of the lights are off, as it’s eleven o’clock at night -- and as I go about my business, I hear that ever so appalling fart sound outside the bathroom door. I freeze, pants around my ankles, and I wait. And wait. Then wait some more. When I feel sufficient time has passed, that the insane farter has grown bored of this game, I slowly, slowly enter the hallway, peek around to make sure he’s gone. He is. But do I, as a normal person would, walk confidently into the gloom, go back to my bedroom? No. I slither up into my office, which is only a couple feet away, where my daughter, Veronica, is chatting with friends on IM, and politely request that she escort me to my room.

Isn’t that the most adorable thing you ever heard?

Anyway, my boos, the Brutarian site is not yet up and running, the copies of #43 not yet distributed to booksellers, but you really should purchase a subscription by sending a fifteen dollar check to: Dom Salemi, 9405 Ulysses Court, Burke, VA 22015.

Dom’s a nice man. Took pity on me due to the fact that my bro stole my contributor's copy of #43, and is sending me another, gratis. I’ll be buying a subscription for my brother so that he will not put his filthy paws on my Brutarians ever again.

I was going to write a whole post about Koko the Talking Gorilla’s nipple fetish, but I think I’ll just leave it be for now. Too disturbing, even for me.

posted by Ms. Lori @ 9:25 AM