Thursday, February 17, 2005

Well, I'm a Bit Dizzy, but Otherwise Okay

Approximately twenty-five minutes ago, I received a rejection letter from some folks I really respect -- editors that have published me before. I sent them dreck, and I should've known better than to assault these fine publishers with a plate of steaming baboon genitals instead of something worthy of their time, something, oh, I dunno...publishable?

Holy Jughead and all His worshipers, man! I needed to punish myself.

So, shortly after reading the letter, what I did was this:

Grabbed the hair on the back of my head -- a big fistful of it -- then forcefully, and without hesitation whatsoever, smashed my own face into the wall. Twice.


At 9:53 PM, Blogger missholysinner said...

You're just like me. I dont tolerate bullshit either. Great blog you've got here, sista. Keep it up.

At 10:13 PM, Blogger G-Man said...

You could write about the hair on a rat's ass and I would buy the book, get it autographed and read it repeatedly until the pages fell out. To have a tiny smidgent (word?) of your writing talent would be joyful!

At 10:25 PM, Blogger keef said...

Jesus Christ!

At 11:54 PM, Blogger Jeni said...

Would you like me to come pick you up so we can hunt down their home address and toilet paper their front lawns?

At 5:56 AM, Blogger P.J.Backman said...

For anyone with rejection issues, getting a 'formal' letter of rejection — knowing that people had a meeting, talked about rejecting you, and then sending you same said rejection on official letterhead — is not good. Lar needs to give a certain young lady some kind of 'make it all better' hug. :)

At 9:23 AM, Blogger Ms. Lori said...

Thanks, Seema, mah sista-friend.
Gary, you're soooo wonderful.
Keef, answer my damn e-mail
Jeni, YES. Then we'll get drunk and make prank phone calls to our mothers.
Peter, my love, you're my guy. It wasn't a form rejection, it was personal -- and they were 100% correct in rejecting that story. It blows. I wrote the fucker in one mad week last June after having suffered months of writer's ennui, and at the time, I thought it was close to a masterpiece. However, after revisiting said masterpiece months down the line (I submitted it to the publication in June -- yes, it took almost eight months to get a response), I realized that it sucked donkey wiener.

Lesson for all of you new writers out there -- DO NOT SUBMIT WORK UNTIL IT HAS BAKED TO A BROWN, DELICIOUS CRISP! Raw work will not only sicken the editors, it will give you the runs but good.


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