One Whipped Mother

Oh, The Things I Say!

So this morning I was running around like a crazy woman, as per usual, doing things that mothers do like vacuuming, wiping counters and butts, serving breakfast, making beds, breaking up fights, smoking some crack, doing laundry, cleaning unidentified gooey stuff off of the T.V. screen, and in the process, I stubbed my toe on the coffee table. I stubbed it real good, too, and it bled like my liberal heart.

It was awful.

And what came out of my mouth would disgust even the most hardened criminal. If you're easily offended, I would suggest not reading any further.

It really is disturbing.

So, like, go forth and surf to another blog.

I mean it.

Go.

Away.

Now.

'Kay.

After I stubbed my toe, the pain was so shocking, so nightmarish, I actually felt my soul leave my body. And during the interim absence of my soul, Satan slipped in but quick and possessed my vocal chords. The following is not suitable for children under seventeen.

***************************************
I said this:

Flapfuck! God, oh, God, flappyfuck flap flap flap!

Apparently, “flapfuck” is considered the worst of the worst in certain circles of Hell.

I screamed the above while running around the living room on my heels. I did that for exactly two minutes and 34 seconds.

Then I felt better and had some coffee.

posted by Ms. Lori @ 10:08 AM