Brandon, Thy Name is InnocenceUncannily enough, the following exchange between my boy, age 5, and my oldest daughter, age 17, occurred the day before news broke of Jamie Lynn Spears' current, er, status.
I trust this will charm you as much as it did me...
My boy had been looking at the myriad photos on our fridge (literally, myriad...Okay, not literally...But there are A LOT of pictures stuck to our refrigerator), when he pointed out one particular photo depicting my daughter and her date at their junior prom.
Brandon: Is that your wedding picture, Veronica?
Veronica (busy making a bologna sandwich): No, silly, prom.
Brandon: But that looks like a wedding picture. Are you married, Veronica? Huh, huh, huh? Are you married?
Veronica (busy making a second bologna sandwich): I told you, NO. God! That's me and Steve at the PROM! The PROM! Not married, not going there, not gonna happen.
Brandon (after three seconds of quiet reflection): Well, that's good. It would be gross if you were married.
Veronica (roasting a 20 lb turkey to go along with the sandwiches): Gross? Why?
Brandon: Because! If you were married, then you would have babies, and that means you would be my mom!
Veronica (baking a pie to go with the roasted turkey and bologna sandwiches, contemplating slow-cooking a brisket for a side dish): HAHAHAhahahahahaaaaaaa!