One Whipped Mother

My Little Eye

Yay! Dan, Dan the Dancing Man has just been crowned king of...








(Teacher's Edition)

I'm not surprised in the least, for I already knew the outcome of this contest way in advance.

Didn't I tell you you'd win, Dan?

Yes, I most certainly did.

Oh, lurker people from Rochester, don't you fret -- no funny business involved here. It's just that I have a darling little third eye right in the middle of my forehead, which has been known to terrify those in my life at times, but mostly, it's just really, really cool. Very useful for predicting the future, or reading people's minds, or telling folks what time it is without using a watch, or bending spoons, or levitating refrigerators, or...

Anyway, CONGRATULATIONS to Mr. Playfair! His competition was fierce, but Dan displayed tremendous professionalism, good humor, and admirably effeminate deportment throughout. Great job, sir.

His fifth grade class. as well as his children, and proud wife, Kim, were there to help celebrate Dan's shining moment this morning. Kim looked lovely, as usual, and my boy shrieked at the top of his lungs when he saw her smiling face on the T.V. (oh, my GOD! Look, Mommy, it's THAT AUNT we know!), then he waved frantically at the television screen when the camera panned to Dan and Kim's young daughter (hi! Hello there!).

Which would be cute if it didn't disturb me so much.

All in all, a very nice morning thus far.

Now I must go work off the fifty pounds of lard that has accumulated on my buttocks over the past week.

Seriously, I seem to have misunderstood the rules of Thanksgiving or something. Perhaps not, I don't know...I mean, isn't it the norm to allot one entire pie per person? Forty-two slices of turkey? A bucket of dressing?

Well, it should be.

posted by Ms. Lori @ 8:15 AM