Friday, October 26, 2007

Firing Doctor Dipshit

Oh, my Goddenheimer. My poor girl, the oldest one, has been in excruciating pain for the past week and a half. I'm talking bad, bad, bad pain. Can't walk, can't lie down, can't think straight.

So we go to the doctor -- let's call him Doctor Fucker for now, shall we? -- and he tells her it's a bruised coccyx. Okay, then, he says, take this pain medication plus three adult Advils every eight hours. Fine, we say.

Days go by, no improvement. Even worse, the pain becomes more intense. My girl now cannot even breathe without wanting to scream from the pain. Then something horrible happens, something that would strike fear in any parent's heart -- her tailbone begins to...Leak. Blood, stuff, and things not of this world, are leaking from my poor girl's tailbone.

I run to Google and frantically do a search, diagnosed her in, what, two minutes? She has a pilonidal cyst, and it's infected.

She was up all last night crying, and I could nothing but hold her hand.

Oh, I could not wait to confront Doctor Fucker this morning.

So, we go see him at 8:00 this morning, and as my girl is weeping and hunched over, he inspects the leaking mass, and he says, "Hmm, yes, that's a pilonidal cyst, all right. I'll go call the surgeon." And that's all we get from Doctor Fucker.

My girl's eyes practically popped out of her head.

So, now she's in excruciating pain and is terrified beyond belief.

The old dipshit couldn't employ a bit of compassionate bedside manner? Couldn't acknowledge the fact that he screwed up, misdiagnosed her, thus causing undue pain and suffering? Couldn't say "oh, don't worry dear" and explain what the surgeon will do, what to expect during the surgery, how much better she will feel afterward, blah, blah, blah?


Plus, he looks like a pedophile. Been wanting to get rid of him, anyway.

Uh, where was I?

Ah, yes -- the operation. 2:00 this afternoon. Female surgeon, at Strong Memorial Hospital. Should be a relatively simple procedure, and my girl will feel like a million bucks by tomorrow (I hope and pray).

I swear, if I had the stomach for it (and 250,000 bucks lying around, as well as a nanny and maid), I'd go to medical school and show these dipshit doctors what's what.


At 3:33 AM, Blogger Rabbitch said...

I think we should call him in for a consultation. You know. THAT kind of consultation. And maybe lay a little cruel and unusual punishment on him and then go out and get likkered up.

At 6:04 AM, Blogger Alexis Slaybaugh Willard said...

Hugs to you and your girl Ms. Lori - I am so sorry they were a bunch of cockknockers to you x x x x hope she feels better soon x x x

At 11:40 AM, Blogger Granny said...

Damn. It's bad enough when that happens to an adult (far too often) but unforgivable to treat a child that way.

Good thoughts heading your way.

At 6:25 PM, Blogger Redneck Nerdboy! said...

Firstly - Coffee spit take at: "let's call him Doctor Fucker for now..."

Secondly - WHAT THE !@#$!%!@#$!!! God, I hate doctors!! Many prayers for your girl's recovery, honey! Many, many prayers. It soooo sucks when one of your own is in pain.


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