If You Call Me a Cracker, I'll Call You a FoolWell, Zoechi, you wouldn't be the first person to accuse me of racism because of something innocuous I’ve written, so that must mean that I am, in fact, a racist! Good call, Barney! Oh, and forgive my assumption here, but…
in·noc·u·ous [i nókyoo əss] adj --
1. unlikely to offend: not intended to cause offense or provoke a strong reaction and unlikely to do so
2. harmless: harmless in effect -- an innocuous white powder
Note: That’s “white powder,” not “power,” m’kay, chief?
It is downright despicable, I agree, to find humor in this oftentimes depressing world we all live in. Would you believe I once even made fun of Paris Hilton's hanging, white ass-flaps! And Condi Rice's curious circa 1953 Barbie hairdo -- I particularly enjoyed writing that one. I've hurled insults at Madonna, and yes, even Puff Daddy, er...Shaun Combs Diddy...I mean, PeePee Doody. Whatever. Can’t stand him and his self-loving,lifting-other-people's-work-and-calling-it-original antics.
Some more “racist” statements to make your hair curl (oops, was that a slur?):
Ebonics = Inexplicable “dialect” that makes the user sound like an idiot.
I think illegal aliens are called “illegal aliens” for a very good reason. My great-grandparents immigrated, assimilated, and produced future generations of Americans without cheating and lying and thumbing their noses at our laws. Yes, it was difficult for them, but doing things the right way usually is.
I think Louis Farrakhan is a complete moron with an Allah complex.
I believe that anyone who is at least fifty percent Native American should not be required to pay taxes -- ever. The fact that my husband is part Native American has nothing whatsoever to do with that belief, by the way. Well, okay, maybe a tad…
Many years ago, while some friends and I watched a documentary on a certain tribe in Africa, a people that wear plates in their lips, I laughed so hard, I cried. Sure, we’d smoked a bit of weed that night, but men who look like ducks and clack when they talk tend to make me laugh really hard, anyway.
Drug addicts who keep producing children should be sterilized. And perhaps, anyone named “Whitney Houston.”
Scholarships and/or acceptance into university should be based on the quality of the student’s grades, not the color of his or her skin.
I believe that all people are equal, thus do not believe they should be given special treatment based on race. When one group is given preference regarding jobs and education, kind of makes the word “equal” irrelevant, doesn’t it?
Regarding the workplace, an able-bodied man, black or white, or whatever race, has the advantage over an able-bodied, equally qualified woman.
FYI: Women make approximately eighty cents on every dollar a man makes, despite the fact she often bears total responsibility of child-rearing, household expenses, childcare, etc, due to runaway baby daddies.
“Are We Ready For a Male President?” There’s a headline you won’t ever see.
“President Obama Ends War in Iraq!” And that’s a headline I hope we do see.
I find political correctness to be about as appealing as used toilet paper.
I hate mankind, all of it, and I love it as well. But most of all, I feel very, very sorry for the state of insanity we've settled into -- easily, comfortably, I might add. And that is why I laugh -- so that I don't curl up and cry myself to an early grave.
I laugh because the alternative would be much too easy, and I've never been one to take the easy route.
I strongly suggest you dig in your heels lest you continue on your easy ride down, you fish-eyed fool.
And guess what? I refuse to apologize to any fish-eyed people who may be reading this. People with fish eyes are funny, for Christ's sake!