Thursday, December 22, 2005

I Was Borne From Original Sin

So it’s not entirely my fault that I sinned to the point of praying to the porcelain yawp god last night.

My first experience with cosmopolitans, you see. There I was, minding my own business, enjoying my light beer, when suddenly, Lilith, disguised as a perfectly nice woman named Wendy, seduced me with a glittering pink concoction so tasty, I lost my freaking mind and drank ninety-five of them. Oh, to remember the dark glee in Lilith's eye as I slid into the abyss...

But Christmas duties must go on, and I shall now prepare forty tons of cookie dough despite the sleigh bells ringing in my head and Edmund the Hyperactive and Kind of Stupid Elf bouncing around in my gut.

I may pass away today, so I’d better express my holiday wishes while I'm still here…

May you all have a beautiful holiday weekend filled with laughter, good food, and lots and lots of love.

Hugs and junk,

Ms. Lori


At 5:23 PM, Blogger Jas... said...

Ah, Lori. You and your li'l reindeer games!

I don't like praying to the porcelein god. I prefer to call it "talking to the dinosaurs on the big white telephone". Sounds so much more... masculine!


At 11:43 PM, Blogger G-Man said...

May you and your fam have a wonderful Christmas with many moments of lucidity.
Be easy on the turkey as I have heard that the goddess of porcelain shows NO mercy when spat upon with liquid turk and drinks from hell.

At 8:35 AM, Blogger Myfanwy Collins said...

Cosmos are pure evil in a glass. Second only to Hurricanes (ever been to Bourbon Street?).

Hope you feel better today.


p.s. ever have a two day hangover? I have and lived to tell.

At 8:55 AM, Blogger Ms. Lori said...

Jas, I'm totally in love with that...Manly, yes, but *I* like it too!

Hey, G-Man, may you and yours have a lucid Christmas, too! (Hint: Stay AWAY from the cosmopolitans!)

Myfanwy, I have indeed. Not sure if I lived or not -- it's quite possible that I'm dead and doomed to walk the earth for all eternity.

I feel better today, thanks. But now I've got to make use of the forty pounds of cookie dough waiting in the fridge. OMG. Trying to bake with my three-year-old boy "helping" is sort of hellish.

At 1:31 PM, Blogger Alexis said...

Oh Ms. Lori - I am so feeling your pain today - I got cosy with several large White Russians last night, and have spent the majority of my day dashing and prancing around my porcelain throne.

Who knew I had an allergy to dairy?



At 3:07 PM, Blogger Ms. Lori said...

We are kindred spirits, Alexis. ;-)

Feel better, girl -- and don't forget to toast me tomorrow night at eight o'clock on the dot!

I'll know if you don't.

***eerie music***


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