Rickles Rocks!
As many of you know, I’m easily amused. Behold the top five things that amused me this week:1) While enjoying a nice, quiet, pre-nap cuddle with my three-year-old son, he suddenly poked at my breasts and said “Mommy, you drink too much water!”
2) The fact that my next door neighbor’s three-year-old girl calls me “Larry.” I hear that married couples begin to resemble one another after a time, but honestly, Lar couldn’t possibly drink enough water…
3) The Dance of the Kowtowing Dreamer that my youngest daughter performed yesterday while begging me to allow her to go to Washington, D.C. with her friend. I told her no -- at first. I mean, come on, I‘m supposed to think it’s a wonderful idea for her to go to D.C. on an hour‘s notice? Her first trip away from home? To Satan‘s lair, no less? Uh uh. No way, chicken lips..But then she began the dance, and my goodness gosh, what a dance it was. She threw her bony little arms about and spun and sang a song of mommy worship that rivaled any begging song to date. It went something like this: “Please, Mommy, please/spin/ I want to go soooo bad/ May I go to Washington, please/ I promise to be good/ This is my biggest dream/ double spin, en pointe/ You are the best mommy/ clap / I love you oh so much/ spin, arm flap/ stops, looks directly in my eyes/ This is a wonderful opportunity for me, especially considering we never go anywhere.
Remember, kids, guilt is the most powerful persuader on earth..
4) When the Supreme Court ruled that the big G could snatch your property on a whim and use it for a parking lot, my eyes rolled back in my head, my body began to jerk spasmodically, and a horrendous laugh of the damned erupted from my wide-open mouth. Though I didn‘t find that moment particularly amusing, my husband sure did.
5) Don Rickles, man! Don fucking Rickles! On Leno! About damn time Leno gave props to the old school comedians. Don, in all his politically incorrect glory, showed him how it’s done. You go, you old, bald, cadaverous bastard, you!
posted by Ms. Lori @ 10:46 AM
7 Comments:
hey, I've missed reading you! Glad you're back. And now, I'm off to guzzle gallons & gallons of water. . .
Larry, er, Lori, you are correct. Loving Rickles should be all of our goal!
Yeah, Rickles rules! Not as much as you do, but not everyone is perfect.
Hope you have a great holiday weekend.
(*Hugs*)
And my "Land of the Dead" review is up.
CJ
Hope you had a Happy Happy Fourth with lots of beers and sunshine!!!! XXXXXXX
Great blog. Very funny! I'm on the look out for new "favourites". I'll be back!
Ahhh, I've missed you. So good to have a second to read something again. Especially something deliciously funny by you.
Moving Hell!! But it's almost over!!
Peter, "bota bag"? I'm lost...hold me.
G-Man, that was freaking PRECIOUS. Thanks for the laugh.
Jas, thank you! Thanks for sticking around. I loves ya, too.
Hey Ms. Witch! Been ages since I heard from you! I'll be poking my face in your journal shortly...
SJ, I completely agree!
CJ, Thanks, babe. I'll check out your review a.s.a.p.!
Alexis, yeah! Had a good one. Hope you did, too, over there in Merry Olde.
Kathy, welcome! Where'd you find me, girl? And please don't say through a Google search for "pudendum." Please.
Bev! Congrats on making the move. Hope your new digs are the best yet. Oh, and if you need to "break" the place in, I'm willing to help with a bottle or two and a bag of Taco Bell. Tell me when, and I'm so there. ;-)
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