Partying With The NanasI’m having an old lady party this coming Saturday, and unless you’re a female over the age of ninety, you’re not invited (if you are indeed totally ancient, and a lady, please e-mail for place and time). I shall make a ham smothered in blackberry jam, homemade baked macaroni and cheese, creamy baked hash brown potatoes, corn, and a dark chocolate cake with strawberries for dessert. Beverages will include Diet Coke, Sprite, coffee, tea, and Coors Light. Guess which one I’ll be partaking of.
Both of my grandmas, along with assorted others, will be coming to visit, and I’m as excited as an old gray mare that has finally, mercifully, been put out to pasture. Goddamn stallions, anyway.
So my grandmas, Ruth and Florence, have not seen one another since, oh, lordy, forever! My parents divorced when I was fourteen, you see, quite a nasty divorce at that, but my grandmas, God bless ‘em, never let that get in the way of their friendship. They kept in contact through me, their loyal and saint-like granddaughter, and through occasional Christmas cards and phone calls. Since my grandmas live so very far away from each other, personal visits have been woefully few and far between. The last time was in 1997, when I threw an old lady party to top all old lady parties, and everyone got completely hammered on Jack Daniels, and the cops got involved, and, well, it was just great.
Anyway, I’ll be a bizzy, dizzy broad this week, getting ready for my old lady party and everything, so I may not post until after my shindig has passed. Eh. Bad choice of words there.
I’ll send my grandmas your warm regards.