Friday, November 04, 2005

Ebony, Ivory, Singing in Perfect Harmony

(no subject)
1 message Fri, Nov 4, 2005 at 12:35 AM

On 11/4/05, wrote:
This is

I recently accidentally happened upon your website and was delighted to see my comments posted. In full I would like to say that you are one sick woman. You obviously seem to have a problem with a woman of color who exudes the beauty, grace, glamour and class of Gene Harlow, Greta Garbo, Marylin Monroe and Elizabeth Taylor to name a few. These women are all white and the fact that Ms. LaBelle exudes these qualities without apology is obviously a problem for certain people. The Lady Marmalade portion of the program the men all volunteered to come on stage and knew full well the fun that is involved it is a trademark part of her show (educate yourself). As for her five octave range it is something called talent and singing with conviction and passion. Something you obviously have not been given the ability to appreciate. I could go on but I wont because I think I have made my point. Open your eyes and learn to accept truth. Patti has overcame too many obstacles and been a blessing to too many people for you and your unfounded thoughts to even be considered by anyone with the sense of a log. Post this!

Your wish is my command, sibling. (Not sure whether to call you "brother" or "sister," O anonymous one.)

Dear Madam or Sir,

I'm sorry that you took my good-natured ribbing of Ms. LaBelle as a symptom of mental disability -- I am, in fact, a bit loopy, but not totally 'round the bend. In another ten years or so, when my four children have all reached teenagehood, I'm sure I will completely cross over into absolute madness. But until then, I assure you, my faculties, for the most part, are intact.

Also, please allow me to apologize for having offended you -- I certainly meant no harm. You are correct in assuming that I'm not educated in the ways of the LaBelle -- I only know what I've seen through the years regarding her numerous television appearances. Or should I say "heard" through the years. And what I've heard still echoes like the mythological Irish banshee throughout my skull. To put it simply, I don't care for the woman's voice. Regarding her Nobel Peace Prize performance, I found it to be in bad taste, an embarrassment for all those involved. I suppose it could've been the beer goggles distorting my view that night, but I highly doubt it --- I had a witness, someone who watched the same thing as I, someone who was just as horrified, if not more, and that witness happens to not only be my best friend of twenty years, she is (was?) a LaBelle admirer. And -- get this bit o' timeless cliché -- she's black. Yes, you read that right -- old Ms. Lori, who has a "problem with a woman of color who exudes the beauty, grace, glamour and class," is best friends with a woman of color who not only exudes beauty, grace, glamour and class, she IS all of the aforementioned, and more. Plus, her voice doesn’t cause me to go into epileptic seizure.

As an aside: My seemingly light-hearted response to your bold assumptions may seem flip, arrogant, but the truth is, your assumptions hurt.

I just don't care for Ms. LaBelle's voice or persona, dig? Just like I don't care for Jennifer Aniston or Paris Hilton (if you're so inclined, check out my archives -- plenty of snarky posts about white women and men in there, friend). My humor is not meant to be vicious, I mean no ill will. The people who regularly read my blog know this. If you don't appreciate my brand of sarcastic nonsense, then please feel free to never set eyes on my words again. Besides, do you honestly believe that my silly rants would have any impact on those people whatsoever? Do you really think that those blessed and fortunate chosen ones, those famous, beautiful, unattainable and busy people would give one crappity-crap about what I say should they accidentally happen upon my piddly blog?

I can say with the utmost confidence that they would not.

One last thing: You wrote, “As for her five octave range it is something called talent and singing with conviction and passion. Something you obviously have not been given the ability to appreciate.”

I wholeheartedly disagree, and shall do so by ending with two brilliant, compelling, fabulous words: Aretha Franklin.


Ms. Lori


At 3:02 PM, Blogger Jas... said...

Well spoken! [applauding] Well said!

I wonder why, if there is a reason, this Peaceofmind person decided to come back after having been so horrified by your comments. And if he/she was truly in a peace of mind, why whould he/she care what you said about a celebrity?

At 3:04 PM, Blogger Jas... said...

I can't stand Michael Jackson! I think he's a freak without warning who's hands should be chopped off if I didn't think he'd just go back out and get new plastic ones put on!

There! Anyone got a complaint that I don't know what talent is and I don't like black people because of what I just said?

Anyone? Anyone?

At 3:31 PM, Blogger Ms. Lori said...

You pedophile hater, you! Why, you should be ashamed of yourself, MAN WITHOUT DEVIANT SEXUAL PROCLIVITIES!!!!!

You disgust me.

At 6:16 PM, Blogger Justice said...

hehehe. Love, love, love, Ms. Lori!

Just thoughts: 1. sounds like a screenname created for the sole purpose of harping. Harping. Um, bitching.

2. Why they always got to be AOL? Dammitman. Yous embarrassing us educated folk.

3. Peaceofmind10, obsess much?

4. Who is Patty Label?

At 9:33 PM, Blogger W. Olivia said...

Your critic surely needs to go find a life.

I witnessed the uncomfortable and completely tasteless act of Ms. Labelle singing LOUDLY about a French whore to a Nobel Prize winner and I was...annoyed and horrified. As my dear friend, Ms. Lori has pointed out folks, I'm also (double checking just in case) black.

Sarcasm, irony and humor obviously escape some people.

Isn't this person TIRED of ranting about a subject we're all over by now?

At 9:55 PM, Blogger Ms. Lori said...

Patty Label, Dr. Justice, is a well known underground soup can label artist -- one of Warhol's inner circle. and the darling of trash art back in the early seventies.

Enough nonsense - how's married life, toots?

Ms. Olivia, this person may, as I've suspected all along, be Ms. LaBelle herself. She's been in a bit of a mood lately, what with Def Jam dropping her and all. (Which, I must admit, is a pretty shitty thing to do -- I may not be her biggest fan, but even I acknowledge her admirable contributions to the world of music. Jeez.)

Either that or it's Jennifer Aniston pretending to be someone pretending to be LaBelle. Or it could simply be a hunchback named Dieter who is very, very lonely.

At 11:23 PM, Anonymous Jeni said...

With all the shit going on in the world today, THIS is the kind of stuff that sends a person with a sn of Peaceofmind over the edge?

Maybe he/she needs to push that same manic energy and passion in to some kind of hobby a little more worthwhile like...hmmm, I don't maybe getting a freaking LIFE?

Good grief people.

'And the wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round, 'round and 'round.'

At 11:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

BTW, here's peaceofmind10's aol page...

At 12:07 AM, Blogger G-Man said...

Holy catshit! You are truly masterful with the pen...Pulitzer Prize stuff here.
Your visits have helped to uplift my spirit...thank you:)

At 9:43 AM, Blogger Ms. Lori said...

Jeni, thanks for the address -- I never would've thought to look it up (never cared enough to, actually). Strange, however, how the "voice" of the anonymous writer is different than that of the child's. The anonymous writer uses sophisticated language and syntax as compared to "Elena's" typical teenage speak. Interesting, too, is that the first e-mails I received were from "peaceofmind" -- no "10." Hmmm. Anyway, If it is indeed a child, I felt compelled to write back (I make it a rule to not personally reply to anonymous folks, but in this case, well, I've got four kids, three of which are close to that child's supposed age). This is what I wrote:

Dear Peaceofmind10,

A poster left a web address in my comments pointing to the AOL homepage of peaceofmind10 -- if you are indeed Elena, and if you are the person who's been writing me e-mails regarding Ms. LaBelle, please know that I do not engage in arguments with minors, whether it be online or real life -- I've got four children of my own that challenge me each and every day, you see. I've enough headaches to last me a lifetime.

Anyway, I hope you realize now that my silly rants regarding Ms. LaBelle are meant in good fun...I do respect her contributions to the music world, and above all, I admire her strength and courage (yes, I did do some reading on her life recently, and as a result, discovered that this is a woman of great honor and spectacular fortitude). I'll not be writing snarky posts about her anytime soon -- after all, I only wrote one post about her, and that was a long time ago.

Be good, have fun, and continue speaking your mind, darling -- being unafraid to voice your opinion is a trait you should never, ever lose.

Take care,

Ms. Lori

Oh, and G-Man? Big-ass hugs coming your way, angel.

At 11:03 AM, Anonymous Jeni said...

It's always useful to know a little something about someone who is trying to stir things up so you can understand where they might be coming from.
I thought the language difference between the post and the profile was obvious too. Maybe a family member posting from that screen name?
Regardless, stick to being your snarky self and don't let anyone back you down! WE won't accept a diluted version of your usual self, we love you just the way you are.

At 12:43 PM, Blogger Ms. Lori said...

Love back atcha, Jeni.


Post a Comment

<< Home