No Respect for the Hill?
I like Joe Biden, really I do...But I can't help feeling as if I've been played. I mean, what the hell was going on in Obama's big Skeletor head when he was making his short list, huh?Let's imagine that scenario, just for fun, 'kay?
Mid-afternoon, Barack Obama's office, Hart Senate Office Building. The smooth yet disturbing sounds of REM mingles with soft laughter, papers rustling, coffee cups settling against saucers.
Barack Obama sits at his desk, sleeves rolled to his elbows, brow furrowed in extreme concentration.
Obama: Jeepers, so many fine folks to choose from! Lessee, for starters we have...Joe Biden...Like that guy. Good man. Solid. Definitely would appeal to bluecollar voters. Experience up the yingyang. What is it -- thirty years or more? Honest, almost to a fault...
Advisor #1: Yeah, "honest." Like when he referred to you as "articulate" and "clean"?
The room vibrates with poorly hidden "inside" laughter.
Obama: Hush, boy. Okay, so he's a bit...Odd. At times. Likes to suckle his foot now and then, but I enjoy a man who has no mental filter, you know?
Advisor #4: Sir, Clinton? Shouldn't we --
Advisor #2: Hey, what about that Bayh guy?
Advisor #3: Um, dude. Bayh? And who would this "Bayh" be?
Obama: Yes! Good call. Put 'im on the list.
Advisor #3: But, who is he?
Obama: Never you mind. Onward, then...All right, I'm liking Richardson. What say you?
Advisor #4: [loudly} Excuse me, sir, but what about Hillary Clinton? She's --
Advisor #1: You know who would be great? Tim Caine, man. He's totally awesome! Used to play racquetball with the guy way back when...
Obama: Sure, why not? Certainly couldn't hurt to have him on board, being that Virginia's a red state and all.
Advisor #3: Tim who?
Advisor #4: [exasperated] Hillary Clinton, sir? Wouldn't it be prudent to --
Advisor #2: Kathleen Sebelius!
Advisor #3: Seriously, now, I feel like such a 'tard, but, who...?
Obama: Most excellent! Superb! Might quiet down those pesky Clinton shrews.
Advisor #1: Jospehine Kumquaticas!
Obama: Beautiful! I like it!
Advisor #2: Frank P. Doodlepants!
Obama: Brilliant!
Advisor #3: [perplexed, but willing to play] Danderous Macintosh!
Obama: Now you're talking! Keep 'em coming, people!
Advisor #4: [sheepishly] Hillary Clinton?
An aide sticks her head into the room and announces that the pizzas have been delivered.
Advisor #1: Mmmm, pizza!
Obama: There'd better be pineapples...Pineapples are important. They give the pizza pie a certain glamor, right? A sensuous shock to the tastebuds...An unexpected slap to the senses that is both invigorating and comforting.
Advisor #4 runs from the room, weeping.
Obama: Geezy-wheezy! What's up with her?
posted by Ms. Lori @ 9:09 AM
3 Comments:
That was sort of funny until it got to Obama's waxing poetic about pineapples at the very end, and then it was hilarious. It was the perfect touch and seemed like the kind of thing he would say.
To be honest, I'm not tremendously politically active, but everything I saw of Hillary Clinton made me think of her as, well, a creep. I know you like her and don't mean to offend but for Christ's sake she explicitly used the fact that she was a woman to try to get the vote. Feminism is about not making a big deal out of being a chick, isn't it? That just seemed really sleazy and sexist to me.
Now if I were running the important thing is to get those republicans the hell out of there, and the only sure thing is of course, Hillary...what is with the politicians...here I am sitting on my ass up in Canada, and shaking my head, pleeeeeeeease...and could her speech have rubbed the salt in the wound any better...what are they thinking, never mind I don't really want to know! and that woman they interviewed who might not vote!!!!!!!! at all ...oh my god, are we in for it...even up here...
Aphid, I don't have to tell you that ALL politicians are creeps. ;-)
I find Hillary to have a bit less of the creep factor, though.
Cedar, Hill's speech, I thought, was INCREDIBLE. Wow. She was warm, funny, and powerful.
Loved the "sisterhood of the traveling pantsuit" line. HA!
And yeah, I felt like slapping the silly woman who was interviewed...What an embarrassment to all intelligent, thoughtful, ADULT Democrats. Feh.
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